Dear Tina,
Once again there is little grabbing my attention on television tonight. It’s too bad I’m not working late for a hit NBC comedy (and I’m not talking about Keith Morrison’s Dateline specials…ya burnt!). So in order to prove my allegiance to future employer NBC Universal I caught the first 30 minutes of The Biggest Loser premiere. Ok here’s the thing with this show. I love what you’re doing for the contestants. It is a wonderful opportunity for them, I just don’t think it influences change in as many at-home viewers as it may like to believe. The Biggest Loser is probably as successful at that as Marie Osmond is at garnering interest in NutriSystem. Which may be marginally successful in the short term, but like NutriSystem’s commercials, The Biggest Loser might as well have “Results Not Typical” in faded gray in the corner of the television screen. This should be a moot point, I know. The show is technically a competition reality program but it is just so overly indulgent in the inspirational, “if I can do it, you can do it,” superficial candor. Take a reality competition show like American Idol. American Idol does not encourage every American to follow their dream with this idea that we all can do great things if we really want to. In fact, if you watch the audition episodes in the beginning, no one should be trying out unless David Foster himself said “yeah you might have a shot.” You know who makes it on that show? Really talented singers. You know who the losers are? The people that can’t sing. And Kara DioGuardi. Simon Cowell is there to let both of them know that.
The way The Biggest Loser is edited and SCORED–oh my God that music, you’d think you were watching 20 blind people receiving the gift of sight and looking into the eyes of their Creator for the first time– it is so over the top I should start watching it on mute. During the weigh-in portion of tonight’s program, Allison Sweeney reiterates for the bajillionith time that together they make up the heaviest group the show has ever had. Cue montage of zoomed in, shirtless stomachs. Ohhhh ok yeah yeah yeah now I get it, so these people are overweight so the loser is actually the WINNER. Because their stomachs are so big. And they should be smaller. I’m with you now. No wait, hold on, can I see a few more close-ups but this time use the theme music from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? when Meredith Vieira says “we’re out of time.” And then everyone is crying. And then they all lose weight and cry some more. And then they literally say “America if I can do it you can!” And cue the music from Homeward Bound when Shadow, the geriatric golden retriever, limp-runs to his male companion Peter.
It’s not all bad. I enjoy the finale. It is exciting to see someone transform their life in such a remarkable and dramatic way. And it’s not a bad premise for a show. Obesity is a major problem in American culture and watching others successfully tackle it, I do hope it inspires those of us watching at home. Personally I like to watch it while eating peanut butter, simultaneously taking mental notes: “So the trick there is to put the serving size in a little bowl instead of holding the entire bag of chips in my lap. Got it.” In conclusion, if I were to start an open letter blog to The Biggest Loser it would go something like this:
Dear Biggest Loser,
Tone it down.
P.S. I’d like a job on 30 Rock.
Cue video to 6:00 mark. He was just too old.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Tracy: Remember that night we had the three-way with Elayne Boosler?
Jerry Seinfeld: I don’t think that was me.
Tracy: Oh, yeah. You know what? I think that was a mirror
Dear Tina 