Dear Tina,
My goal for this blog is to stay focused on two fairly general topics: television and why I want to have a career in television, more specifically a career at 30 Rock. I really don’t want to get all Life&Style on you and start discussing ad nauseam highlights and lowlights from my life as a young, single gal in [close proximity to] the city. I’ve run into a bit of a snag here though because so far the only thing I’ve watched on TV today is 20 minutes of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and Sleepless in Seattle airing on the E! network. As much as I would love to spend the next thirty minutes or so coming up with fresh Mackenzie Phillips material or jotting down quips on why the E! network is including Miami Vice in their “Movies We Love” series, I’d rather use this Sunday evening to discuss a few events unrelated to television that deserve some attention.
Number one. Last night I went out in Chicago with some girlfriends originally to say goodbye to a friend of ours moving to Texas. Eventually our evening led to The Hangge Uppe at State and West Elm. You know who I saw last time I was at The Hangge Uppe? Ronnie Woo Woo. And creeps. Last night only the latter remained. My personal favorite encounter involved a man around my age, maybe a little older, and me sitting alone at a bar stool (I’m not a party pooper but it was nearing 4 am and my feet hurt). He approached me with a light up…wait for it…tambourine. He then proceeded to hit the rhythm of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody against my leg with his tambourine all the while not saying a word. Not one word! Usually when I’m in this position men like to open with the line “Woah try not to have too much fun!” or “No seriously stop having such a good time right now. Calm down.” Yes, very good observational humor. Next time I would recommend “You look like you’re having fun…NOT!” but you might pull a muscle. Anyway, back to Harold Hill. As I continued to try and keep the focus away from myself by complimenting his tambourine skills (which, really, were subpar) he finally decided to open the conversation with “Are you married?” The conversation continued as follows:
“No I’m not married.”
“Are you engaged?”
“No.”
“Then why aren’t you having a good time?”
“Because Queen is on and this conversation involves a prop.”
Ok I may not have said that last line out loud but I should have. It’s moments like these that leave young women, looking for that next great relationship, feeling completely hopeless. You know how Meg Ryan’s character met the man she was engaged to in Sleepless in Seattle (before the Empire State Building rendez vous)? At a deli counter over confusion of whose sandwich was whose. If someone accidentally took my sandwich I’d be like “Can I have my sandwich?” and I’d leave! Of course ten hours later I’d be at The Hangge Uppe trying to thwart Mr. Tambourine Man’s advances so maybe that’s the problem. I’m missing opportunities because I’m in such a hurry to eat my sandwich. Also, as we were leaving The Hangge Uppe at 5 am, a man asked me if I knew a good place for a drink that would be open past 5. I told him to try IHOP.
Number 2. I had to go to the Apple store today to get my power adapter replaced. My computer is only 7 months old so that was absurd to begin with but not really the highlight from the experience. That came when I was all finished at the “Genius Bar” and decided to purchase a couple of computer accessories before leaving. First of all, there is no register at that store. That doesn’t make sense. If you want to sell things then give your costumers a clear location to buy them. So today, as I have done in the past, I just stood in the middle of the store holding my items out at arms length, turning in a circle until someone noticed me and offered to assist. Then I was approached by a little boy who I assumed was lost and looking for his mommy and right as I was about to see if anyone could get this little ankle biter a juice box, I realized he was actually an Apple store employee. I should have known right away because he was wearing the uniform, a shirt that indicated he was one the “specialists.” The kid probably doesn’t even know what a cassette tape is and already he has a more professional title than I do. You know what I specialize in? Babysitting. Give your mom my number.
Number 3. The current number 8 most purchased song title on iTunes is I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas. Who is still buying this song?! Are there thousands of you who took a 6 month hiatus from popular culture and are now hearing it for the first time? I did some personal research into this matter. According to my iTunes, I purchased this song on July 2, 2009 and I remember back then it had already been a hit for at least a month. The last time I played this song was September 25, 2009. Yet, months and months later many of you are waking up, logging on, and thinking “You know what? I think I’m finally ready to commit $1.29 to this track.” It makes me feel like I am frozen in time and I long for the day I am reenergized by the popular music we are collectively enjoying. I mean what is this? Euro MTV? Lets move on people. Also, I think we can get Tik Tok off the top ten list as well, can’t we? If you’re so jazzed about the song just turn on E! and wait for the Golden Globes red carpet promos. They occur about every 4 minutes.
Well Tina thanks for letting me vent about some things not involving television, my one true love. I’ll try to refocus for the week we have coming up. 30 Rock returns Thursday!
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Jack: You must know Arsenio.
Tracy: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Tracy: No.
Dear Tina 