Yes, my job is stressful, very stressful. But in the end I get paid to make people laugh. We have a saying that laughter is the best medicine. So I’m kind of like a doctor here. Like you were in Poland.

Dear Tina,

When I got home last night I had a message waiting for me on Facebook. I don’t remember the name of the person who sent it but the content of the message was “Is this Catherine Allen married to Ed Allen? Used to live in Maryland?” First of all, no. Second of all, I am so curious to know how this woman knows Catherine Allen because clearly they’re not even acquaintances if she looked at my face and thought “oh there she is.” I wonder if maybe this woman is Ed Allen’s mistress and she wants to get in touch with me, Ed’s wife, and reveal their infant love child. I also hate when I am confronted with the reality that women exist in this world with the exact same name as me. I don’t know why. A couple of years ago some Catherine Allen from Minnesota requested my friendship on Facebook, I assume because she felt it was some type of destiny for her to suddenly have access to dozens of Catherine Allens around the world via a social networking site. It’s like the time my friend requested all the Kelly Clarksons on Facebook to be his friend. That’s the same, right? Anyway, things kept coming up on my News Feed like “Catherine Allen just posted an album ‘KITTIES!'” so she had to go.

I mention this story because as I was thinking about all of this, I naturally let my mind wander to life’s larger questions. Questions like how people remember me and how sad it would be if it was as Ed’s wife. Everyone measures success differently. I mean, I consider my day a success when I budget enough time in the morning to make my bed. But when I think about life beyond the day to day, I want to be known for accomplishing the one thing I said I always wanted to do with my life. If someone were to send me a message to clarify who I was, what would they say? Is this Catherine Allen, has a debit card, really good at folding fitted sheets? Sure everyone experiences something in their life they can be proud of. No one is ever eulogized “Shoot, I just can’t think  of one…hold on…um, well I think she lived in Maryland briefly.” Still, it is important to me that I value the profession I choose for myself rather than falling prey to a “take what I can get” mentality and end up working as a marketing analyst for Mary Kay.

Last night, as you may have read, I was feeling a bit fatigued, which despite an early bedtime, carried into this morning. Now when it comes to a lack of sleep I am usually the first to begin rambling Ophelia’s  “Woe is me” speech, inserting modern day jargin like how much work it is maintaining a blog. Very Baz Luhrmann of me don’t you think? But this morning I thought, as a five year old yelled at me “those aren’t my dad’s rules!” when I asked him to put on snow pants, I don’t care if I stay up until 3 am if it means I am successfully convincing someone (read: you) to hire me. While on some nights I have had small spouts of anxiety because it was 11:46 pm and the best synonym for “funny” I could think of was “really funny,” the possibility that this idea will work makes my efforts here something I look forward to every night. Someday soon I’ll come up with the perfect plan to get you to start reading this. Maybe I’ll show up at the Today show the day you stop by to promote Date Night with a giant posterboard begging for a job interview. If the posterboard has glitter on it or a shoutout to a pom squad, I swear it’s not me. In any case, when you do fall upon this and happen to go far back enough to read this post in particular, know that this is the best thing I have going for me right now and I mean that in the most optimistic sense.

It took  me a few years to figure it out, what I wanted to do with my life. Abandoning a career in Acting didn’t sit well with me at first. When that happens though, when your life jumps the track it’s on, you have to discover what was missing from the old plan. Whatever that is, commit to it. No one that ever abandoned a dream ended up on Oprah. Also, blog about it until Tina Fey and/or Nora Ephron notices.

I say all this because I felt like now was a good time to reiterate my intentions here. I felt that they may have been blurred with all the Jersey Shore talk and Sandra Bullock bashing. I’ve actually been enjoying this experience so far, as it stands at 20 days. It’s encouraging to know people are interested in what you have to say even if it is only your friends. But we keep going, holding onto the promise that one day I’ll get to announce TINA READ DEAR TINA! With mOViNg tO NyC! posts to follow. Something to look forward to. For now, I have to go distract this baby with some maracas.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Kenneth: Ms. Lemon, you aren’t supposed to be here. You’re on S-E-X probation.