Dear Tina,
The posting over the weekend may seem a bit confusing if you read it everyday and realize that yesterday’s was just put up a few hours ago. You read this everyday, right? You’re just waiting for the right time to tell me you found a position open in the crafts service department? Are you going to do it Publishers Clearing House Style? Or borrow Oprah’s Dream Machine RV? Your call. Anyway the reason for the confusion is I started the post yesterday but didn’t have time to finish it before having to run out the door and pick up my needy friend from the train.
Last night proved to be a great success in that I didn’t spend too much money (dollar bruschetta!) and I managed to ruin only one of the shoes I was wearing. I also learned a valuable lesson. My friends and I were in Old Town at our favorite dive bar Burton Place, a place where standards and manners come to die. While at the upstairs bar I was introduced to a nice man from South Africa. Ok so you know the game Taboo where you have to get your team to guess the word without saying any of the five related words on the card? I need to start treating conversations with strangers like a game of Taboo. A short list of words or subjects not to discuss within the first ten minutes of meeting someone. Here was a great opportunity to expand my horizons and get to know someone whose world view is greater than someone’s who spent her spring breaks in elementary school at a Marriott in Northbrook, Illinois. Surely there are a plethora of subjects to discuss with an international personality. Nope, not for this girl. I manage to spew out “Nelson Mandela, Invictus, and Morgan Freeman” within the first few minutes of our conversation. Really I’m surprised I didn’t ask him his thoughts on apartheid and if he knew Dave Matthews. Lucky for me he was patient. But still I think for all future social interactions I need to bring along the Taboo buzzer and have my friend Stephanie use it when I am clearly about to say the first thing that comes to mind. The Taboo words/subjects for future conversations with Morgan Freeman includes this story.
At least I didn’t make a grown man cry when I asked him why he thought it was appropriate to wear track pants in public. My friend was responsible for that blow to the ego.
I didn’t get much television viewing accomplished today. I guess most people think of this as a good thing but when you’re writing a blog about your opinion on today’s television programming and you don’t watch anything you end up telling embarrassing stories about your awkward social interactions. I did catch portions of the Grammys but I was getting overwhelmed by the arena venue and the acceptance speech music that allowed winners to speak for about 3.6 seconds. I did see Lady Gaga’s opening number that was reminiscent of the topless burlesque show I saw in Las Vegas. With my mom. The man that was playing the role of emcee or ringmaster or statistic announcer (“she has five number one singles!”) reminded me of the really spirited kid in high school show choir. The one that never quite had the chops for the lead roles so the teachers would give him the part that required a lot of animation and talk-singing. He was actually a fine singer but there was something about that added element that seemed amateur and clashed with the edginess of Lady Gaga performances that usually terrorize my mind. She made up for it though. At one point Lady Gaga was thrown into a pit of fire only to emerge later at her piano with ashy hair and skin. And who was that sitting across from her also on a piano? Why it was Sir Elton John who must have been thrown in the fire pit before the Grammys even started because he was also a bit charred. It was reminiscent of Sluggers Sports Bar and Dueling Pianos in Wrigleyville except this was an amazing fusion of the future of pop music and the pop music of yesteryear and not a place for people drinking out of cans to request “Sweet Caroline.” I wish the performance had ended with a surprise appearance from Eminem who came on stage to flick off the audience like he did in his 2001 Grammy collaboration with Sir Elton. I’ll put that idea in the suggestion box for next year. I probably should have watched more but then I got distracted by the TLC special about the birth of the Duggar’s 19th child. Alright Dear Tina is all caught up and I need to go to bed before I fall asleep on the job tomorrow and that baby wanders out of the house and we have a Baby’s Day Out situation.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Dr. Spaceman: According to my DNA database, you are a direct descendant of our third president.
Tracy: Jasper Buckleman?
Dr. Spaceman: No Tracy, our third president. Thomas Jefferson.
Dear Tina 