Dear Tina,
On the eve of one of the biggest days in television, I started thinking about the tradition of the Super Bowl, not in terms of the actual sporting event, oh God no, but the traditions of the day. Having about as much football knowledge as John Madden has musical trivia knowledge, I’m never particularly excited for the game itself. But that is the genius of the Super Bowl. There is something for everyone! Don’t like football? That’s ok but I bet you can’t turn down family sized portions of guacamole! Don’t understand why a 15 minute quarter takes an hour to pass? It’s because there are commercial breaks every 3 minutes so pay attention because you’re going to want to be clued in to what every morning radio program will be talking about Monday morning! Don’t recognize any of the players? Have no fear, just ask a man particularly engrossed in the game which one is dating Kim Kardashian. He’ll be glad to help. If you’re a sports nut, a day drinker, or just someone who has always looked for an excuse to try those TGIFridays appetizers in the freezer section, Super Bowl Sunday is the day for you. Personally, my favorite part is the Star Spangled Banner. After that happens I just flip back and forth between the game and reruns of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I guess I do like watching the commercials. At least the ones where I feel like advertising companies spent a great deal of time and creative effort to come up with a memorable and fresh idea instead of just hiring Danika Patrick to read terrible copy in a bikini. So with this in mind I thought now would be a good time to share with you a commercial that I have seen repeatedly on television lately and I just can’t shake it.
What is going on here? Why is someone you invited to what appears to be a small, intimate gathering, breaking into your house while he’s looking right at you? Was this one of those parties where everyone brings someone they’re no longer interested in to see if someone else can tolerate them? And whoever brought this slick rick forgot to mention his propensity towards hostile break-ins? Also, maybe mention to the Broadview Security dispatcher that the man terrorizing you is not just “this guy” but “AJ” and that if need be you could provide a full physical description. And his likes and dislikes. The last place he went on vacation. His first pet. Because clearly you two hit it off and your friends were thrilled about it. Poor women. We just can’t catch a break. As soon as we think we meet someone nice they turn around and rob us. If after you throw a party, a man smashes his fist through your glass door with the intent to steal, he’s just not that into you.
By the way, the title of this post is much more enjoyable if you watch the actual clip. So please do.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Liz: So what you’re saying is that any woman that doesn’t like you, is a racist.
Stephen: No. No no no no. Some women are gay.
Liz: Ok, how racist is this? I’m going to the Source Awards tomorrow night.
Stephen: Well let me get on the Black Phone and call the NCAAP so they can just send you your medal right now.
Dear Tina 