Dear Tina,
In googling something just now that started with “who does” I discovered that the third predictive search option Google provides is “who does she think she is?” How amazing is that? The fifth option is “who does Justin Bieber like?” It’s like Google knows what I want to know before I do. I gather that these choices are generated based on actual search frequency. I want to meet the girl that comes home from work all fiery because her co-worker took credit for her idea and not wanting to go to bed angry she looks for answers by googling WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS! Then later she gets even more upset because she can’t tell a joke to save her life, she hasn’t been to the gym in months and she finds out via Google that Justin Bieber likes “a girl with a great smile, great personality, pretty eyes who’s sporty, active, and can make him laugh because he likes to laugh.” Then she searches the less popular, WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS. Then she eats a Lean Cuisine with a side of sheet cake. Seriously, I want to get to know this girl. She sounds funny.
Did I just open with a tangent? Well crafted Catherine. I never said I was writer. I’m just a girl with a dream. In fact, junior year of college I took a Theatre History class that required one research paper at the end of the term; when my paper was returned to me the lone note on the title page was “What does this have to do with Theatre?” And the answer was nothing. The reason was because I started writing it at 10 pm and finished around 8:10 am. Taking a break somewhere around 5 am to eat a Nutri Grain bar. But guess who still managed to snag a Bachelor’s degree and placed it proudly on her bookshelf next to a decorative fan her mom brought her from China. This moi.
I had every intention of writing about how good last night’s episode of The Good Wife was. It was like an episode of 24 except they had 48 hours to solve the crisis and they managed to get through it in one episode instead of 24 so it felt exciting instead of tedious. But now it is seven minutes to midnight and I over ate at game night and we spent too much time talking about Islam and government regulation so my head hurts and I just want to watch funny clips on Hulu.
Before I retire (I’m already in bed, it’s really just a matter of shutting this thing down and shifting slightly),I do want to say this to you Tina. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I could do to promote or advertise this project of mine so that one day you come across it and we make a cosmic, yet professional connection and I come under your employ. I have some ideas that I need to kick into gear over the next few weeks. Suggestions are always welcome. In the meantime, today marks my 41st post, which in the grand scheme of things isn’t a lot–it isn’t even a significant number–but it means that I have committed to a resolution 41 times more than any I’ve made in the past. Except in 2002 when I gave up french fries for a year. For the past year and a half my days all blended together. Everything started to look and feel the same way; six months ago was the same as yesterday and yesterday looked a lot like what I did today: unloaded and loaded a couple of dishwashers, folded a variety of child garb, changed diapers, removed dog throw up from carpet, played a couple rounds of Go Fish, cut up some apples, baked some bagel dogs, picked up, hung up, tidied up, wiped down. It’s not a challenge, a robot could do my job. Just ask Rosie from The Jetsons. Dear Tina makes me feel like myself again. For the first time in what feels like forever, I’m doing something that relates to something I am deeply interested in. Even when I’m just making fun of obnoxious reality shows (that you may be realizing I enjoy more than I let on), at least it is attached to a goal. At least now it fits into the plan I have for myself, a plan that on January 1 seemed far fetched but the longer I commit to this, the more I think why not me? Someone has to get some work done over on that set. Why wouldn’t they want my help? So it’s worth going to bed late and inviting public shame for my frequent lack of grammar skills. Tina, while your viewership is always at the forefront of my mind and most crucial to the success of Dear Tina, you should know that it means the world to me to have friends and family read this everyday and remind me that I’m not crazy. Remind me that I’m not crazy for thinking I have more to offer than a patient tone when explaining why 9,041 is not the last number that exists. Even though viewership can go from 51 to 12 in a matter of days, twelve is not one and one is not zero. And for right now that’s all I need. The job can wait…until tomorrow. I’ll take the career/life altering opportunity tomorrow.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Tracy: My son is ashamed of his father.
Kenneth: That’s horrible. Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.
Dear Tina 