Dear Tina,
Well the end of another week and as always, a few lessons learned. 1. I should strongly consider setting my alarm one minute earlier and make time to put eyeliner on in the morning. Thursday I looked like a corpse. My skin tone being the color of death did not help. 2. Trying to explain to a first grader that subtraction is just the opposite of addition is like trying to make the argument to me that a prune is just a larger raisin. Useless. Um, I tried a prune this week and it was disgusting. Raisins are delicious. I am currently mentally gagging at the memory of eating it. 3. When you are walking down State Street in Chicago and the Lake Street subway station is two cement slabs away from you and two surly looking 20 somethings ask you where State and Lake is…keep walking.
Before I ventured into the city this late afternoon, I stopped by the tape store to rent some must-sees come March 7th. Briefly, I will not stop calling it the tape store as it still calls itself “Video Adventure.” I walked out with The Hurt Locker and A Serious Man. Not to be confused with A Single Man which features Julianne Moore as what I want to be for Halloween next year: a drunk British divorcee with a killer hairstyle. I mention this as a segway for my official announcement that Dear Tina will be featuring an in depth analysis on the major Academy Award nominations. A couple of weeks ago my friend Daniel and I sat down and figured out what exactly we needed to see before the big night. Not that you have any reason not to believe me, I just want you to know that a spreadsheet was involved.
So we (I) have a lot of time on our hands, so what? But I am now determined to see every nomination in the following categories:
- Best Picture
- Best Director
- Best Actor
- Best Actress
- Best Supporting Actor
- Best Supporting Actress
This way I can discuss each category without having to apologize for being inherently adamant about something I haven’t seen. I am also mentioning this now so that over the next week and a half, I actually go do what I am promising to do. And it should be stated that this is a major commitment here. I mean, does anyone want to see The Lovely Bones? No, they do not. You can’t even get Peter Jackson to sit down and watch that with you. But alas Tina, everything I do, I do it for you (sometimes my writing is inspired by Tina, sometimes Bryan Adams). I have seven films left to watch and about 10 days to get it done. Even if it means going to a movie by myself, I will persevere all in the name of mediocre journal writing. So come March 7th, if I announce that I have not done what I said I would do, feel free to shame me so I remember never to make public promises again.
Before I retire, in television news, Tiger Woods held a press conference today. I would have gone on and on about this but he and the story bore me to death so there is little point in that. You don’t need to explain anything to me Tiger. My interest in your personal life is about as enthusiastic as my interest in your golf game. Longest. Speech. Ever. I bet Elin even changed the channel and watched a rerun of Shear Genius instead.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Jenna: People always underestimate my instincts because of my good looks.
Liz: This is no time for back door bragging!
Dear Tina 