Ok on the count of three say what level of cousins we’d have to be for this to be ok. One, two, three. Fifth! Unacceptable no matter what.

Dear Tina,

It’s very late on Friday night. In fact, technically, it’s Saturday morning. I’m sure considering it’s the weekend that most of my peers would disagree, but it is way past my bedtime. Regardless of how lame I am being, which even objectively is fairly lame, I still spent the evening with two of my favorite groups of people: family and actors. My family is as loud as actors and my actor friends are as close to me as family. Stitch that on a sampler why don’t you?

If you are in town tomorrow Tina you may consider dropping by Murphy’s Bleachers in Wrigleyville. I’ll be there so you and I can go over my employee contract then…if you’d like. My cousins are hosting a fundraiser to benefit Misericordia Heart of Mercy. I’d offer you a discount on the ticket price but I don’t really have that kind of leverage and it’s for charity so maybe just pay the $40 and you can have first pick on karaoke. Great. That’s why I was with my family tonight. We were setting up for the big event. In situations like that I always want to be really helpful but never know how to plug myself into the situation to maximize my usefulness. I’m the person who sees a group of people lifting a large, heavy object, walks over and puts one hand underneath–not really redistributing any of the weight to my body, just appearing to be of service. I became the scribe at one point, that was good. Growing up with a lot of cousins is like being the girl in that teen movie who eyes a group of friends at school that she’s always wanted to be a part of but never knew how to approach because she was so shy and “artsy.” Ok, not so much the artsy part, but in my experience when you’re young you long for the days that you get to hang out with your older cousins. It happens gradually I think. You go from being in bed at 9:30, to staying up late watching them drink, to drinking with them, and then before you know it you’re in the group–you’re as loud and messy as they are at 4 am. With a big family it can be elite, and when you’re young it can seem like a lifetime before you get there. But for me, getting to the age where you develop friendships with your extended family that reaches beyond friendly chatting at Easter dinner, it is a development that I find truly comforting. Plus my family is hilarious in the “you have to know them” kind of way, which is the best kind.

After I left Wrigleyville I headed over to my friend’s party to see people from my old Theatre Department, some of whom I hadn’t seen in over a year. Now, here is a list of three things you you will find at any party.

1. Attendees dressed nicely.
2. People talking loudly over the music.
3. A line for the bathroom.

Here is a list of three things I found at tonight’s theatre party.

1. Someone dressed up like Barbara Streisand in Yentl.
2. No music playing yet people screaming instead of talking.
3. A line for the bathroom because 4 girls are inside the bathroom chatting because we they didn’t want to talk to anyone else.

Need I say more? I hope not because I’m already half asleep. I love them.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Liz: Ok that’s it. I’m calling Human Resources and setting up a mediation for you.
Jenna: I told you I don’t drink that much at work.
Tracy: Mediation is a binding form of non-judicial dispute resolution.  I watched “Boston Legal” nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new “Star Trek”.