Dear Tina,
Last night American Idol premiered the big stage with the top 12, the only contestants America will have a shot at remembering five years from now, and a Rolling Stones themed evening. Now I’m no classic rock connoisseur but I was always under the impression that the Rolling Stones were a rock band. You would never have known that last night when quite a few of the performances sounded country inspired. Maybe I’m still holding on to resentment over the elimination of Alex Lambert last week, but this group as a whole is a yawn fest. The only person who has the potential to show up wearing caged shoulder pads a la Adam Lambert is Siobhan Magnus. And I really hope she does.
The judges entered the big stage in a dramatic fashion, %75 of them looking as eager as a high school senior on her first day ready to rule the school, Simon looking like he was walking to his car after leaving the mall. Simon was also wearing a deep v-neck sweater with a white tank top underneath. I do the same thing when trying to be more reserved in terms of cleavage. I imagine Simon had similar intentions.
I’ve struggled with how to best and most fairly review a performance episode of this show. I feel now that we are in the top 12 and all of these contestants have a legitimate shot at becoming the next American Idol (except Tim Urban), it is my responsibility to acknowledge everyone. So without further ado…
Michael Lynch, Miss You. Coming off of a very strong week, Michael approached his performance with a cockiness I both resented and admired. It was well sung and his ability to make a Rolling Stones song sound like it had always been an R&B track was impressive. One mistake Michael made was forgetting to return the chain hanging from his pants to the seventh grader he borrowed it from. Simon remarked that his dancing was corny, which of course, it was. I felt similarly last week but the vocal made up for it. From now in, Michael may need to realize his strong suit is not dance. Or movement of any kind.
Didi Benami, Play With Fire. Didi was refreshing in that she finally chose to stray from the folksy, acoustic sound that has been her main stay since the beginning. Poor girl missed a cue, then missed a lyric, and it looked like it was going to be the first true disaster in American Idol history. It’s amazing to me that in nine seasons, no one has ever broken down and started sobbing during a live performance. Didi collected herself and turned out a great performance. I love her voice so even though I sense she’s not America’s favorite, I hope she sticks around for a while.
Casey James, It’s All Over Now. I tend to not like men that are prettier than me, but Casey won me over last night. He’s not the best but at least last night he reminded us that he is really talented in a very specific genre of music: country blues. And that I admire. Year after year we see contestants slip through the cracks for having a nice face to look at but hardly any musicality (ie Ace Young) but Casey is a legitimate musician with a great voice when he sings in his style. Also, it was during this time that Ellen made a sly reference to being a lesbian; Kara LOL’d big time and then referred to Ellen and Randy as “the guys” the rest of the night.
Lacey Brown, Ruby Tuesday. Lacey your time has come. The time is now. You can go by foot. You can go by cow. Marvin K. Mooney Lacey Brown will you please go now. I just can’t stand the smiling/sitting at the edge of the stage combo. It is so excessively sweet it gives me cavities just watching. Ellen gave her first piece of useable criticism when she said Lacey was walking around during the slow parts and then sat down when the song finally started to pick up. It was true. I think Lacey’s biggest fan is Lacey; she is the archetype for what Simon means when he calls a performance “indulgent.” Also, Lacey’s parents remind of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.
Andrew Garcia, Gimme Shelter. I say this with a lot of regret, but Andrew Garcia aka Compton Harry Caray has one more week before I officially jump of the Garcia love train. He put down his acoustic guitar this week for fear his “Straight Up” performance would be referenced again (it of course still was) and then we saw what many have feared the past few weeks–he’s just not as good as we thought. I still love his voice but the thing about this show is that every season there are favorites and there are dark horses. If you’re lucky enough to be a favorite from the beginning but then your performances become inconsistent, the dark horse takes over. I’m still holding out hope Andrew, but it’s dwindling.
Katie Stevens, Wild Horses. Well Katie, the spunky 16 year old who keeps being told to keep it youthful decided to go for the same Rolling Stones song Susan Boyle covered on her debut album. The judges loved the choice. Fine. This is one instance I can’t get behind what Simon says. This girl is so irritating to me. She’s like Rachel from Glee except not funny and not as talented. So, the worst. And she had the audacity to come out wearing the same dress I wore to Easter dinner when I was seven. For the record, I prefer the Susan Boyle version.
Tim Urban, Under My Thumb. His haircut was modeled after Zack and Cody from Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, yet he decided to sing his Rolling Stones song in the style of Reggae. Save it for Bob Marley week. I can’t believe we lost Alex Lambert for this.
Siobhan Magnus, Paint it Black. Siobhan received the unofficial award from Simon for performance of the night; this was even confirmed after the final performance by Crystal. I’ve given Siobhan a hard time in the past. Mainly because every time I read/type her name, in my head I think See-o-bahn so I resent her for confusing me. But See-o-bahn is definitely a performer to look forward to. Her rendition of “Paint it Black,” the first song I was really familiar with the Rolling Stones version, was dramatic and insanely difficult in terms of the vocal. My favorite part about Siobhan is that when she’s done singing, she just stands there and looks like one of the characters from Recess. She’s great. I can’t wait to see more.
Lee Dewyze, Beast of Burden. For me, Lee has the most commercial voice. I don’t mean that as a bad thing; his style is one that has had major success on the radio because it is masculine, effortlessly good, and sexy. He’s the type of guy a girl hopes to meet, start dating, and then be surprised when he sings her a Goo Goo Dolls song on his acoustic guitar shirtless. The judges felt it was safe and Simon told him the only thing holding him back is his personality. Ouch. But true. He needs to come out of his shell and challenge himself to do something no one would see coming. That could catapult him to the top. Also, maybe just sing a Goo Goo Dolls song shirtless?
Paige Miles, Honky Tonk Women. Why has no one addressed the fact that Paige is stunning? Someone needs to do that. I hope it’s Randy and I hope it’s awkward. Paige apparently had laryngitis, which I didn’t really need to hear about nor did America. Stuff like that tends not to affect us. I thought she was great but, to take a word from Simon, it was forgettable. At this stage in the game Paige hasn’t done enough to stand out and this is going to send her packing sooner than she may deserve to go home if this competition was based on talent alone.
Aaron Kelly, Angie. I’ve already spent enough time discussing how much I dislike 16 year olds in this competition. They should be in their junior year English class trying to figure out what all the colors mean in The Great Gatsby. In his video package, Aaron remarks about what a small town he grew up in is still growing up in, noting the single stoplight. Really Aaron? You seemed like such a city slicker to me. The judges liked his performance and though it was the perfect song choice for him. I guess because he made it sound like a Rascal Flatts single. I couldn’t careless. I think he is boring and self-conscious. In the teenager way, not in the hunky-Lee Dewyze-I used to work at a paint store-way.
Crystal Bowersox, You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Crystal was introduced and came out on that stage like she had already won. Like she was last season’s winner returning to grace her alma mater with a performance. It wasn’t her best performance but she’s working with a different set of standards than the majority of the group. It was still great but like Lee, Crystal needs to do something next week to remind America that she is a cut above the rest. If she leaves too soon I would consider turning off the rest of the season. I usually judge my favorites based on who’s singles I am most excited to purchase on iTunes and right now that’s Crystal. Girl, you go.
So that wraps it up. I know it was long but remember it will only get shorter as the weeks go by. Also, if you do start watching American Idol and would like to accompany your viewing with a drinking game, may I suggest taking a shot everytime Kara says “You know the kind of artist you are.” Ugh. Kara needs to come up with some fresh criticisms. She recycles the same five notes every week.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Frank: Nobody believes that a killer robot can get his ass kicked by one bear. It doesn’t make any sense.
Liz: You’re trying to bring logic to the robot bear sketch?!
Dear Tina 