Dear Tina,
As I have mentioned in the past, season finale week is always a tough one for me. Once the season finales of my favorite television shows air, I am left with an empty feeling knowing that for the next four months I have mediocre programming to not look forward to. Sure I can enjoy a rerun every now and again or, for that matter, appreciate the summer months and not spend them cooped up inside watching TV. But that joy of tuning in for the first episode of your favorite television show in the fall is like discovering you have a class with your crush on the first day of school. Something to look forward to all year long and when it’s over, you’re strangely disappointed for the summer to begin. Every May we say goodbye to our most cherished pretend friends (seriously I think Alec Baldwin would like my company) and persevere through whatever reality television shows that weren’t acceptable for the regular television season. Have you seen previews for Shaq Vs.? I mean…
So truly breaking my heart last night was the season four finale of 30 Rock. Not so much because of the lone gunman walking around the hospital murdering people — no, that was Grey’s Anatomy (who still watches that show? Seriously!). It broke my heart and left me simultaneously wondering are Elizabeth Banks and Matt Damon going to become series regulars? Probs not, but let’s take a look at how it all played out.
Last week’s episode ended with a “To Be Continued…” and tonight we picked up right where we left off, with Liz stalling for Jack at Floyd’s wedding. Unfortunately Floyd did not play a significant part in the episode, “I Do Do,” which is always disappointing, but now that he is officially married I must let go of the hope that he and Liz Lemon will ever get back together. Although a wedding here and there never stopped Ross and Rachel so maybe I should be slightly more optimistic. Anyway, Liz is at the first of three weddings she has to attend that day. When she arrives at the second, her date for the event and kind-of fiance Wesley (Michael Sheen) remembers that he left his shoes at the office where he recently fired from his job. Upholding his vow to never step foot in the building again, Liz agrees to go back and get them for him. As they part they share a kiss that only confirms their complete lack of chemistry. “Ugh. Son of a bitch! Why is your face like that?!” As Liz is about to leave, fancy dress slippers in tow, in walks a handsome doorman airline pilot named Carol played by none other than Matt Damon! Well in, Tina. It turns out that not only does Pilot Carol have the successful career to back up the stunning face, but he has a personality to boot! One that includes a sense of humor, a critical take on airplane etiquette, and adoration for the Lemon penned fart doctor sketches on TGS. Liz quickly interprets this chance encounter as a sign that she’s not supposed to settle for Wesley and that there is someone out there who meets all of her hopes and requirements. Finally the universe is throwing her a bone. Except she happens to spew all this “sign” and “universe” and “settling” nonsense in rant form which Carol overhears. Re-committed to spending her life alone or married to Wesley (“You’re engaged? What if the bachelorette party theme is sluts?”), it isn’t until Carol shows up at the third and final wedding of the day and assures Liz that if the worst thing about her is the crazy speeches she gives to fiances, then this relationship might be worth a shot. So we are left to believe that Liz Lemon will in fact be dating Matt Damon at the start of season 5. You know for someone who seems to have so much man trouble, when a gentleman does enter her life he always appears to be the prototype for perfection. If only dating were as simple as hosting an A-list casting call. Also, now that Happy Feet 2 in 3D is in post production, I assume Mr. Damon has plenty of openings in his calendar to commit to filming the entire rest of the series. Good to have you on board.
On the other side of the episode, we have Jack still struggling to make a decision about Avery and Nancy. Under pressure from Nancy to choose one or the other, Jack tells her he’s ready to commit to her. Jack loves that Nancy not only loves him for the man he is, but also the boy he was. A self-described mama’s boy who wore his sister’s hand-me-down corduroys. At wedding number two, Cerie’s wedding, Nancy runs into Avery in the ladies room and learns (before Jack) that Avery is pregnant. A pregnancy, eh? If this episode didn’t include Samali pirates as wedding guests, it could have slipped on track to become as cliche a season finale as Mark proposing to Vanessa in season 4 of Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper. Nancy asks Jack to tell her what he loves about Avery and after a long list including “she can tell you how to field dress a deer,” Nancy accepts that Jack’s heart honestly was in two places and now that a baby is in the picture, it’s time for her to let him go. Avery approaches Jack and he assures her that although this pregnancy wasn’t planned, it was fate and like it or not, the two of them were meant to have this baby together. If this were an episode of Glee, this would be the moment they break out into a show choir version of “Faith” by George Michael complete with sky-reaching arm choreography. Elizabeth Banks has not begun production on the film Forever 21 (we can only hope this is in fact a movie about the store) so I imagine, like Damon, she has more than enough time in her schedule to be a featured actor on 30 Rock. My gut instincts tell me that they will somehow find a way to get rid of the baby story line in a tragic or hilarious turn of events just in time for November sweeps.
Meanwhile, Jenna’s tranny boyfriend Paul found a disturbing compromise between paying tribute to his two idols: Jenna and Cher. And Kenneth was offered a promotion that would have taken him across the country to Los Angeles. Not wanting to leave his friends in New York City, Kenneth makes the ultimate sacrifice and begins to fail at his job in order to be denied the promotion. Unfortunately he does this to a group of Kabletown executives who are getting a tour of the production studios they are about to purchase. Kenneth is fired and in a brilliant monologue of drunken stupor, finally tells the cast and crew of TGS what has always been on his mind:
I have watched you throw away better food than my family eats at Christmas. And I. Have. Loved it! You people. You are my best friends. And I hope you get everything you want in life!
Before Kenneth has figured out what to do regarding the promotion/transfer, he goes to Tracy who leads him to the destructive plan. In his advice, Tracy said it best:
Do a sloppy job and they’ll leave you alone. That’s how I got out of foreplay with Angie… and my taxes.
So there you have it. The end of a terrific season. My only requests for season 5 are 1-2 episodes featuring significant participation from Dean Winters and to not give Jack Donaghy a little son or daughter who he feels obligated to parent. We’ve already learned what kind of father Jack would be:
Thanks for 22 wonderful memories Tina. I eagerly anticipate your return this fall.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Wesley: Fine. It’s your loss. There’s only one Wesley Snipes in this world.
Liz: You know there isn’t.
Wesley: Ugh.
Dear Tina 