Dear Tina,
This wouldn’t be the first time I mention to you that in life I definitely lean far to the left on the under/over dramatic spectrum. Can you even be underdramatic? I just can’t imagine going through life without making as much commotion as possible. So piled on top of my already existing excitement over the new episode of Glee on Tuesday, I did a half-assed cartwheel when I discovered this week’s theme would be theatricality sponsored by Lady Gaga. For the record, I cannot do a cartwheel due to my experience as a kindergartner in ballet class when the teacher made me cry for my lack of body coordination. The episode was filled with laughter, tears, and a wardrobe that put Glee in the running for Best Costumes at the Emmys. The recipient of this award should be Lady Gaga.
The root cause of this theatrical explosion was Tina getting called into the principal’s office (accompanied by Mr. Shuester — always) and being reprimanded for her goth look. Principal Figgins appears to have confused other students’ passion for Twilight as a Vampire epidemic and therefore all looks and styles that resemble vampires are banned from the school. Mr. Schuester tries to remind Figgins that vampires are not, in fact, real and Tina defends that her black garb has nothing to do with such a fad: “My mom won’t even let me watch Twilight…she thinks Kristin Stewart seems like a bitch.” She does. Your mother is a wise woman. Suspension is put on the table and if you know the glee kids the way I like to think I do, a lyrical protest is already in the works. At glee practice, Rachel enters in a fury to announce that while she was snooping around the dumpsters outside Vocal Adrenaline’s rehearsal space, she discovered evidence that led her to believe they were doing an homage to Lady Gaga for regionals. All the women in the room and Kurt know that this means the bar has been raised and it is covered in red Chantilly lace. Deemed by Kurt as “the most theatrical performer of our generation,” a lightbulb goes off in Schuester’s head and, in an unnecessary explanation due to its obviousness, he decides that this week’s assignment is Gaga. Insert bubble dress. Insert joy.
Back in spy mode, Rachel, Quinn, and Mercedes stealthily enter the auditorium where Vocal Adrenaline is rehearsing (“Your shoes are making noise!). After a disappointing run through of their Lady Gaga, Vocal Adrenaline’s coach asks her students to sit down so she can “show them how it’s done.” Briefly, I would like a moratorium on any character on Glee using the excuse “let me show you how it’s done” to break out into song. It’s too easy. I am mainly speaking to Mr. Schuester on this issue. Anyway, as Idina (I don’t care much to refer to her as her character’s name. Not with a name like Idina) begins to sing “Funny Girl” from Funny Girl, Rachel instantly recognizes the voice as the voice on the cassette from her mother. Rachel finds herself physically drawn to this woman, revealing her presence and announcing right as the song ends, “I’m your daughter.” Idina’s face in that moment had the perfect expression of “Oh eff, I don’t know if I really want this.” When they sit down to talk, it only takes a minute or two for Idina to realize how uncomfortable she is with this newfound relationship with her daughter. What she thought she always wanted, as it turns out, doesn’t exist. “This was supposed to feel good. We’re supposed to have some kind of slow motion run into each others’ arms.” Idina briskly tells Rachel she’ll call her and then bolts. I have a feeling this episode is not going to end with a musical tribute, performing “The Perfect Fan” by Backstreet Boys.
Among other familial drama, Kurt and Finn’s families have finally become one as Finn and his mom move into Kurt and his dad’s house. The prospect of sharing a room with Kurt is uncomfortable enough for Finn, but when he gets wind of Kurt’s redecorating plans he just about loses it. First he takes it out on Lady Gaga, going to Mr. Schuester and telling him he doesn’t think it’s fair that the guys always have to do what the girls want to do in glee club. Always the sympathetic ear, Mr. Schuester suggests Finn and the men (minus Kurt) find a solution. He and the men perform a pyrotechnic filled KISS spectacle, complete with the iconic hair and makeup and tongues. Artie wearing his glasses over his makeup and five inch platform shoes with his wheelchair is the kind of detail oriented design I have long admired in Glee. Unfortunately Finn’s rededication to his masculinity came to a halt when he returned home to his shared bedroom and discovered Kurt had turned it into a hookah bar sponsored by Pier 1 Imports. Finn finally confronts Kurt with the laundry list of things Kurt does that makes him uncomfortable, all leading up to the dropping of the dreaded gay f bomb when describing Kurt’s lamp choice. Burt enters in rage, “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HIM?”, and Finn shrivels to the size of a child who just got caught coloring on the walls. The actor who plays Finn may be 28 in real life, but he nailed the teenager getting shut down by a parent. And in my own life experience, I can tell you nothing is more terrifying and nothing makes you more remorseful. In his speech, Burt explains with unexpected eloquence that Finn describing a throw pillow as faggy is as offensive as calling a student with down syndrome retarded:
You think I didn’t use that word when I was your age? Some kid gets clocked in practice we tell him to stop being such a fag, shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it’s some kind of punishable offense. I really thought that you were different Finn.
I’m not one who needs convincing so I can’t comment on how effective this speech was to someone who is homophobic, but I do hope it called into question many an ignorant view. “This is our home, Kurt. This is my son.” At the risk of sounding trite, it was deeply moving.
Throughout the episode Kurt and Tina kept getting pushed into lockers by meathead jocks for their expressive costumes which all bordered very closely to a Saved by the Bell episode. In the end, Finn came to Kurt’s aid–finally in touch with his inner Gaga–dressed in red pleather from head to toe. When the entire glee club followed Finn in the confrontation and scared off the jocks (seriously, enter Zack Morris), it was then that Finn finally revealed the moral of the story to us, “We’re all freaks together and we shouldn’t have to hide it.” This was followed by a slow clap, which I hoped was a mocking gesture (as it always should be) from Sue Sylvester but it was just Schuester ending on an almost painful “gang’s all here!” note.
Other miscellaneous adventures include Rachel’s dads making her Lady Gaga costume, a collection of her childhood stuffed animals inspired by the Kermit the Frog look. Unfortunately the dads didn’t know how to sew so the stapled creatures kept falling off, leading Rachel to approach her mother and make a plea for her maternal skill set despite Idina’s previous “don’t call me, I’ll you call you” request.
The performance of “Bad Romance” by the ladies and Kurt was brilliant if only for the visual appetite it sated.
Puck telling Quinn he wanted to name the baby Jack Daniels and subsequently apologized via the KISS song “Beth.” Points for continuity when Finn looked on jealously as Puck told Quinn he thinks they should name the baby (that they’re not keeping) Beth.
Rachel’s dads named her Rachel because “They were big Friends fans.” Awesome.
Overall it was a solid episode that was heavy on story, light on musical resolutions. Which I happen to prefer. The end of the Kurt/Finn conflict really needed a song, rather than a brotherly jab to the arm as they walked down the hallway together. Maybe “You Learn” by Alanis Morissette or “A New Day Has Come” by Celine Dion? Would you like me to sit in on all future music meetings Ryan Murphy? Sure. Two more episodes left! Regionals are coming! Jonathan Groff is leaving! It’s all very overwhelming.
Brittany Line of the Night:
Girl was back and killing it.
Kurt: She changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners.
Brittany: That’s true.
Song of the Night:
Poker Face by Lady Gaga.
It just wouldn’t be a worthy recap if I didn’t acknowledge this duet performed with just a grand piano by Idina and Rachel. As I said last week, you can’t really have Idina Menzel sing and expect her not to be the brightest shining star of the episode. When Idina comes to say goodbye to Rachel, Rachel is confused as to why she has grown passed needing the mother figure she always longed for. Idina explains, “It’s because I’m your mother. I’m not your mom.” Rachel makes a final request to fulfill her lifelong dream of singing with her mom. A strange choice for a mother-daughter duet, what with lyrics like “Bluffin’ with my muffin,” but it was a fun rendition that played well with the tone of the episode. Not to mention the fact that the two sounded incredible. But, duh. Thanks for spending time with us Idina. We’ll miss you.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
James Franco: Five dates a week, 1 fight a month, and because of a product placement deal with Jamba Juice, the fight will take place in a Jamba Juice.
Jenna: I love Jamba Juice!
Dear Tina 