I’m back, Lemon. I’ve had the most productive summer of my life.

Dear Tina,

Is summer almost over? Is that what I should be anticipating right now? Because, oh my, has this not been the summer of leisure. If I have received any hint of color from the Chicago sun, it came in the form of awkward sunburns that left awkward strap and sleeve lines on my shoulders. This had the potential to be an awesome conversation starter for a summer party (not really), but when you only get one day off and the night before that day you’re done with work after midnight and the day after that day off you’re needed back at work at 6 am…well sleep takes precedent over general social needs. On a similar note, you may have noticed it has been approximately 34 days since my last post. And on top of that, there has been a total of 50 missing Dear Tina entries. Not that I envision all of my faithful readers waiting with bated breath every morning as the Dear Tina page loads (er, I do), but I do hate to disappoint. So if you return to the first day of missing entries, June 30, 2010, you will discover the first in a series of 50 posts titled “What I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina.”

Is this cheating in my mission to write a post everyday in hopes that you, Tina, will hire me to work at 30 Rock and/or to hold your umbrella? Absolutely. Am I above minor deceit? Probs not.

We can even argue that these are not official posts as they do not have 30 Rock quotes for titles. Full disclosure: the reason for this is because finding 50 content-related quotes over the course of only a couple of days is more work than I have personal time in my day.

So enjoy the read. Hopefully it makes up for lost time. I do recommend starting on June 30 and working your way up as that was the order it was written. But either way the dates are irrelevant. As I discuss things that happened in August in July. Fine.

It’s nice to be back. I probably won’t have time to write tomorrow. Wah wah.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Liz: You provide a point of view that is essential from keeping the diversity… guy from bothering us.

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

50.

I can’t wait for the fall television season to begin. 30 Rock. Glee. Virtually anything that is not on CBS. By that time hopefully I’ll be back to a routine that does not include lunch at 5 pm and dinner at midnight, and does include daily Dear Tina posts. But I’ve made these promises before…

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Jenna: Look at Dr. Baird!  How did you get a picture of him?
Liz: I told him his haircut was exactly what I’ve been trying to describe to my barber.

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

49.

Remembering to put sunscreen on already sun-burned shoulders is about as effective as remembering to remove the dish towel from the stove after it has already caught on fire. You have bigger problems at this point.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Jack: I’m off to have a real Christmas; fly to Rio, tan in the nude, bet on some monkey wrestling.
Liz: Just like Norman Rockwell always drew it.  Well have a good flight.
Jack: I could fly there without a plane.

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

48.

Groupon: life’s invitation for an unemployed girl to get her hands on steak-frites.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Liz: Excuse me, Mr. Weinerslave.
Jeffery: It’s pronounced “Weiner-slave.”
Liz: Ok…Jeffery…

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

47.

Making friendship bracelets is, I assure you, still as fun as it was when you were 8 years old at day camp. And you look just as awesome when you wear them.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Kenneth: I feel like I’m in the Pelican Brief!  Do I already know to much?

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

46.

The casting department over at ABC, in charge of selecting contestants for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, is supposed to be looking for the cream of the crop. The casting department at MTV, on the other hand, purposefully hires train wrecks to be on their reality programming (remember the girl who had an abusive boyfriend and an eating disorder and MTV thought the healthiest path for that young lady included an open bar and a national audience?). Yet now we have the new show Bachelor Pad on ABC that invites former contestants from the Bachelor/Bachelorette series to all hang out together in a mansion and win money in their swimsuits. This group of adults has officially entered Real World/Road Rules territory. The only difference between this group of America’s brightest and most desperate and the 20 year olds is that the parents of the former probably saw the lives of their children going in a more positive direction when they attended their college graduations.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Jenna: It’s funny I’ve actually played Peter Pan on Broadway. Did you know there’s a Broadway Street in Tampa?

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

45.

I went on a tour in Seattle and a majority of the tour guides had stand up comedy/improv backgrounds. All tour companies everywhere, take note. You know who can make a tour of cement hallways underneath the street level more interesting? Funny people.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Drew: Are you choking?  I’m a doctor.  Stay calm.  I just need to shake it loose.  Don’t panic.  I just need something to push it down with.  Do you have a chopstick or a fireplace match or something?

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

44.

No matter how cute you look on top, you wear sneaks with a nice outfit, you look like a fool.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Jonathan: Liz!  Mr. Donaghy wants to see you immediately about what Jenna and Tracy did during the St. Patrick’s Day parade.
Liz: Was it something good?

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

43.

Apparently someone invented a product called “spicy peanut butter.” If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Becca: Dude, I know you’re getting these messages, because I know how to check your voicemail.  You are officially a d-bag, Tim!  I hope you loose your indoor soccer game!

50 Things I Learned While Not Writing Dear Tina

42.

I am reminded of this by the presence of the children of crew members on location with us: playing with Barbies was so fun. Just ask my brother. He used to sit outside the play room and watch my sister and I do so for hours. We would open the door a sliver and let him experience all the secondhand fun he wanted.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Tracy: I know love at first sight when I see it.  I saw it when I met Angie.  I saw it the first time Dot Com laid eyes on Grizz’s fiancé.