Dear Tina,
It was announced this week that the new season of Jersey Shore will premiere July 29th. Sorry Dad, I can’t hang out on your birthday. We have gorilla juiceheads in the mist.
If you missed Kate Gosselin dancing to “Paparazzi” this week on Dancing With The Stars, here is a pretty accurate interpretation. Although I have to say, Jimmy appears to have more natural rhythm than Kate and pulls off the enormous side ponytail much better:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/140551/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-kate-gosselins-paparazzi-dance
Tina will be hosting Saturday Night Live tomorrow night with musical guest Justin Bieber. It’s like the universe was trying to figure out the only sure fire way to get me to stay home on a Saturday night. My two favorite things combined. This is what it will feel like if they ever find a way to combine a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup with an Oreo. A couple of weeks ago my friend said to me “I never know if you’re kidding when you talk about Justin Bieber so enthusiastically.” I told her I never am.
I just read this sentence in an article:
Sad starlets Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton were spotted drinking and “chain-smoking” together at Nylon‘s eleventh-anniversary bash in L.A.
I think I’m starting to come around to those two again. Because they’re not even pretending they have it together anymore…or may ever have it together again. There’s something charming about that kind of destructive honesty. It’s how the two Coreys got their own reality TV show.
There was a big event on television this week. If you consider golf a big event, which I don’t and no one should. But Tiger Woods returned to the distinguished Masters Tournament this week and everyone, particularly Access Hollywood, was really excited about it. For the first time since Tiger’s infidelities came to light, he is resuming his role as one of the country’s top athletes. Personally, I don’t consider someone all that athletic if they can wear khaki pants while playing their sport but I can’t even figure out how to play Wii Golf so I’m not one to judge. Also, have you noticed that according to the media the biggest crime Tiger’s mistresses have committed is being unattractive? My biggest problem was that on February 19th, Tiger made his first public apology (if you noted the time ticker you would have thought he managed to squeeze in a dramatic reading of War and Peace) and he was pretty clear about taking an indefinite break from golf. So does indefinite normally mean until the next opportunity comes up to play? If it does then I would like to take this time to announce that I am taking an indefinite break from babysitting. I don’t know yet when I will return but it will most likely be this coming Monday at 7 am. Thank you for your time.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Tracy: I’m sorry. Would you like to stay at my guest house?
Frank: Yeah! Thanks. When’s good to go over there?
Tracy: Oh I’m not offering. I’m just doing a survey to gauge general interest.
Dear Tina 