Dear Tina,
Ok it is way past my bed time especially considering that my face still looks like it belongs on the body of someone 60 pounds heavier than myself, but I am feeling inspired to get all caught up here. So tonight we’re doing a lightning round edition of my television inspired, Andy Cohen copyrighted, segment “Here’s What!”
Here’s What!
1. Chace Crawford, best known for his role as Nate on the hit show (in my heart) Gossip Girl, was arrested for the weekend for possession of pot. Less than two ounces were found on him while he was at a bar in Texas. It is being reported that he could face up to 180 days in jail. Or he could pay a small fine, fly back to New York City, and continue to smoke pot late into his career when he’s making awkward guest appearances on sitcoms a la Jason Priestly. I’m sorry to disappoint you Life&Style magazine, but the only story here is what an incredible mug shot he took. Seriously, that could be a movie poster. They should use it for the upcoming remake of Footloose starring Chace Crawford.
2. It was reported that Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe have filed for bankruptcy, and owe nearly $11 million. So what are you saying? You can’t afford to spend $2000 on clothing for your children whose closets are filled with clothes already? No more hot pink limo rides escorting 9 years olds to a salon for a birthday party? I feel like I’m watching the Disney adaptation of A Christmas Carol when they have to slice one piece of bread amongst the family and everyone gets a single pea.
3. I watched the first disc of the first season of Nurse Jackie tonight. The show is brilliant and I highly recommend it. During the third episode a sweet girl from the mid-west (Ohio to be exact) comes into the hospital sweating profusely but claiming to be freezing. After looking at her test results, Nurse Jackie realizes that the woman was coming down from an opiate high and confronts the woman and finds out what she had been taking. Six months prior the woman had her wisdom teeth removed and in the process she had become addicted to Vicodin. She described her high as the most exciting day she’s ever had in Ohio. First of all, the mid-west is not that boring. Well, Ohio probably is so forget that. But number two, my mom took this moment as an opportunity to nudge me and say “See?!” as if in my own wisdom teeth experience I flirted with the idea of sliding down that slippery slope into prescription drug addiction. Really, I think she just enjoyed the coincidence of it all. She knows me better than that. My diploma from D.A.R.E. is just as important to me as my college diploma. I mean, in the time since I’ve received them, they’ve probably served me equally…
So there you have it. Three television events, none of which have any barring on anyone’s life, particularly mine. But at least I did what I said I would do and as of today, June 6, I am all caught up and ready for a new week. My last week. As a babysitter.
Egad.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Avery: Think slutty Grace Kelly.
Jack: Oh god bless you. I’m picturing it right now. And the opposite of that just walked in.
Avery: Tell Liz I said “Hi.”
Dear Tina 