Cerie, for the last time, I have never been married. That’s the spirit!

Dear Tina,

Inspired by Andy Cohen’s “Here’s What” segment on Watch What Happens Live, I bring you three items happening in the world of television today.

1. During a commercial break for The Real Housewives of New York City, Bravo aired a preview for the new show coming this June, Bethenny Getting Married? A word of advice to all current and future television producers: do not include a question mark in the title of your program. Unless the title is a legitimate question that pertains directly to the plot of the series, i.e. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Now every time I reference this show in conversation (which will be frequently as I will inevitably tune in to every episode), it will sound like I am speaking with the kind of upward inflection 8 year olds use to tell stories where the end of every sentence sounds like a question: and then I went to the park? And went down the slide? More to the point, why the question mark in the first place? What was the subtitle the creatives came up with? Bethenny Getting Married? Really? That old hag?  I understand that was kind of her schtick on the first couple seasons on RHONYC, alone looking for Mr. Right, but still that question mark is awfully patronizing.

2. I happened to catch 10 minutes of a The Hills rerun this morning—a decision caused by the dangerous combination of boredom and laziness. With that disclaimer and the acknowledgement that I understand everything on that show is staged and possibly written, Spencer Pratt is off his rocker. There is a thin line on reality television of enjoyment and disgust. A line so thin that it may be more accurately described as blurred. But watching Spencer react to minor conflict as if he were confronting the universe with history’s greatest tragedies, it makes you wonder if maybe he has stockholm-syndromed himself and this persona he created a few years ago for the sake of the TV show has begun to resonate with him. In the most recent episode, we see that he has taken to wearing crystals all over his body as a tool to help center and calm him. His mustached sidekick Charlie suggests maybe they aren’t working as Spencer practically hyperventilates in front of him. “I know they’re not working that’s why there’s hundreds on me right now.” Oh Spencer, I can’t wait to catch you on season 8 of Celebrity Rehab with Doctor Drew. Ten bucks says the crystals make a reappearance.

3. I read a blurb last week where Steve Carell was quoted as saying he plans on leaving The Office when his contract is up at the end of the upcoming seventh season. First Simon Cowell then Oprah and now this? If I was skeptical of the world ending in 2012, I think I’m quickly becoming a believer. I imagine in the case of The Office they’ll find a replacement for Carell rather than end the series altogether. I won’t write off this idea just yet. Sometimes shaking things up and bringing on a new personality can shift the dynamic in a way that will breathe life back into the story. At the same time it’s really hard to imagine Scranton without Michael Scott coming to work everyday in a PT Cruiser and lady suits.

Alright I hope that was inspiring. ClearlyI dedicated a good portion of my day to contimplating critical moments in the world of pop culture. As I always do. 30 Rock recap tomorrow. Jenna’s mom Verna was back and Lutz played his own mom. So, par for the course. Goodnight.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Kenneth: Well it’s finally over, Ms. Maroney.
Jenna: Yes. And it’s hard to even remember how it all began.
Kenneth: [whispers] You burnt my jacket.

Ba-Boom! That’s another not normal!

Dear Tina,

After watching The Office on Thursday I would like to make a simple plea to the writers and producers. Please don’t turn Erin into a total head case. Erin, the red headed secretary who replaced Pam towards the end of last season, appears to be developing into a crazy person and it’s just not working for me. As we have gotten to know Erin we see she has a quirky personality and a childlike perspective on life, but her warmth and optimism is so refreshing in an office filled with naysayers. Her willingness to seek out the good in everyone is a sweet balance to her suitor Andy’s shy yet boundless efforts to date her. They seem like a perfect match–one as wholesome as the other.

So it was a delight when Andy finally mustered up the courage and asked Erin out a few episodes back. But then we discovered on the date that Erin lives with her foster brother, who doesn’t appear to recognize the cultural boundaries expected of sibling relationships. Then on Thursday’s episode, Michael takes Erin out to lunch in honor of Secretary’s Day and lets it slip that Andy was formerly engaged to Angela. Erin pushes all of her hair over her face and this response feels uncharacteristically aggressive and irrational. Although I will say Erin’s explanation for this behavior, “In the foster home, my hair was my room,” was pretty hilarious. Still, I worry that continuing down this road will turn Erin into a full-blown mental case who quickly loses her appeal entirely. They did the same thing with the character Jan, Michael’s former boss. She started out as this smart, sophisticated woman who served as the voice of reason to Michael’s buffoonery. To everyone’s surprise (including Jan’s), they started seeing each other, but as long as she continued to do her job well and didn’t allow Michael to take advantage of their relationship at work, then we the audience could buy that Jan had true feelings for Michael. However, by the fourth season Jan had lost her job, gotten a breast augmentation, and started a candle making business in one of Michael’s spare bedrooms. She became a shadow of her former self and when she eventually left the show for good, no one was really sad to see her go. I am wary of The Office doing the same thing to Erin, who again, adds such a refreshing voice to the show. Plus, she is the best thing Andy has going for him right now and isn’t about time Andy got his? After all that Angela put him through last season and his long history of extravagant courting, I think Andy deserves to find his soulmate and settle down. So please, let Erin be that woman for him, and pretend like the foster brother with a propensity toward cuddling never happened.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Pete: Maybe we’ll be preempted by some national news event. How’s Gerald Ford’s health?

I can’t tell who they’re from. No, no, I did read the card but it’s not signed…no, I’m not with so many men that it’s impossible for me to guess…oh, well you know what, I found the card, actually, they’re from your mom, so tell your gay mom I said thanks!

Dear Tina,

The Valentine’s Day extravaganza continues. My apologies for Friday’s post not appearing until this afternoon, but you know, life happens. Not to be confused with Love Happens starring Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart and hands down the worst name for a film since…ever. Now in this weekend dedication to Valentine’s Day I am faced with a dilemma. There are five half hour, scripted comedies I watch without fail every week. In the order they occur: Modern Family, Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock. I had to give Modern Family its own post because um, it earned it, and I had never properly professed my love for it. 30 Rock (Spoiler Alert!) will be getting the Sunday spot because it’s the best thing that ever happened to me so I’ll obviously need to honor it on Valentine’s Day. So what to pick for Saturday? Not all three because this is supposed to be the BEST of the Valentine’s themed sitcom and when you only watch five shows, well, you should at least be critical enough to limit yourself to three.

Here is my line of thinking. Community is out of the running first. An amazing showing but it fell short. In their attempt to create what we TV enthusiasts can now officially refer to as the “Jim-Pam” relationship without needing further explanation, they have chosen for half of this equation, a character who honestly is not all that likable. I am of course referring to Britta. I want to like her but I tend to think of television characters as potential friends: if a character wouldn’t appeal to me as a friend in real life, then I’m probably not going to care if you get what you’re after. This is not to say that in real life, if you’re a real person and you and I are not friends that I hope for the worst for you. As Laura Linney said to Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me and as my friend Amanda said to my friend Adam when they recreated the same scene in our on-camera class, “I do root for you.” I am strictly referring to television. I like where Community is going with the Jeff-Britta relationship. But I think that is because this development is making Jeff a more interesting character. Britta on the other hand is still as self-important as she always was. What we loved about Jim and Pam was that the two were clearly perfect for each other yet their timing was always off; I don’t see Britta as Jeff’s missing piece. Until the writers can figure out a way to make their chemistry more palpable and Britta’s personality more sympathetic, this show is not taking any Valentine’s Day victories.

So now we are left with Parks and Recreation and The Office. I’ve been having a hard time with The Office lately. Ever since Pam got pregnant and Jim became kind of jerk to everyone but her, it just hasn’t been the same. Parks and Recreation on the other hand has really come into its own and Amy Poehler is the perfect example of making a character likable who on paper is supposed to be irksome and foolish. After giving this a lot of thought, I have decided to give it to………………………….The Office. (I am now noticing that you can’t really do dramatic pauses in writing because it takes about a nanosecond for the eye to skip over a series of ellipses.) Yes, just as The Bachelor finale is always edited so the bachelor appears to be in love with the loser just to throw you off, Parks and Recreation fell slightly short in the race to steal my heart. An excellent showing though; if Leslie hadn’t been with such a chach during the episode, they may have edged out The Office.

The Office is in desperate need of a recharge or a reset or a resomething and tonight we saw a glimmer of hope that this may come during the final moment when the camera captured life in the office as it once was. As we remember it most fondly. But we’ll get back to that. For now I want to focus on what made it a great Valentine’s Day episode. The answer is Andy and Erin. I have been a fan of Ed Helms, who plays Andy, since he was a correspondent on The Daily Show so I was delighted when he showed up for the third season premiere. I was even more delighted when he continued to do so for the 4th, 5th, and 6th seasons. Andy Bernard is charming with an element of obliviousness much more subtle than Michael’s, but like Michael, he is most appealing when he is sincere. Erin, played by the wonderful Ellie Kemper, replaced Pam as the office secretary. Erin is refreshingly positive and upbeat in this office filled with complainers and cynics. Erin and Andy’s mutual crush has been developing all season long and after the drawn out mess that was Andy’s engagement to Angela, he finally has potential with someone who is a good match for him. The problem is both are waiting for the other to make the move. Having provided Erin with an extravagant display of affection via his Christmas gift to her, the 12 days of Christmas–literally bought her two french hens, etc., Andy feels it is Erin’s turn to make a move but she doesn’t oblige him. Because she’s a girl and we don’t do that. Andy, determined to keep things moving forward, decides the next logical step is to give her a Valentine’s Day card. Then give one to everyone else in the office to “dilute” the gesture. Ahh it reminds of my relationship with my 5th grade boyfriend who I would find ways to bump into in the halls and then avoid direct eye contact. That relationship kind of petered out on its own.

The delightfulness of Erin and Andy’s relationship can be properly summarized in the interaction that took place during the Valentine’s Day card delivery. Erin and Andy “bump” into each other in the office:

Andy: Woah traffic jam!
Erin:Uh oh traffic jam on route three!
[human produced siren noises]
Erin: 20 people dead in a pile up!
Andy: Blood everywhere!…..Um I got you a Valentine’s card.

It’s nice to have a budding relationship not complicated or muddled by one having a fiance or a boyfriend or girlfriend. Rather, we watch two people who simply struggle to put themselves out there and take a risk with the other. Gosh, what must that be like. It is refreshingly innocent and playful. Enough with all the complications that we force into our heads as adults; let’s go back to the basics–a crush and a flirtation. It is the simplicity of their situation that makes it such a joy to watch and a delight to root for.

Andy’s love for Erin is tested when, unbeknownst to him, the Valentine’s Day card he gave to Kelly (Mindy Kaling–love) is inscribed with a passionate message that leaves Kelly with the impression that he is in love with her. Kelly takes it in stride stating, “I guess Andy likes me. I never thought of him in that way. But, I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you’re supposed to be with is the one you never thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying or possibly homosexual.” Kelly breaking this news to Erin does not go well as Erin is clearly devestated but, not wanting to appear the victim, keeps mum about her crush.

After Kelly attempts a move on Andy, he realizes his mistake and sends out an office email sans Erin stating that regarding his Valentine’s Day cards, this does not mean he likes any of them. Which brought the sweetest moment of this Valentine’s Day episode when Phyllis asked “you don’t even like us as friends?” and Andy replies, “Phyllis, you guys are like my closest friends. I just mean I don’t like like you.” (Oscar: “What are we five?” perfect.) Pam wanted to give the camera a snarky look during this whole exchange, LIKE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THERE BEFORE MCSMRIKSALOT. Ugh Jim and Pam, they think they’re so much better than everyone now. Drives me crazy. So Andy and Erin basically return to square one. There is no longer confusion about one liking anyone else, yet no admittance than one likes the other. I’m so happy we have the rest of the season to figure this out. If Erin is pregnant or married by the middle of next season I’m calling for new hires in the writing room. Don’t do that to us.

Which brings me to that final moment I mentioned earlier. I didn’t discuss the A story because it was unrelated to Valentine’s Day and therefore moot. So I will be very brief in a recap. New boss (Kathy Bates) comes in and says the office doesn’t need two co-managers, Michael or Jim needs to step down and return to salesman. Jim agrees to do so because he can make bank on commission under the new policies. Michael discovers this, wants to be and is demoted to salesman, making Jim manager. This dynamic is maintained for four and a half hours before Michael realizes he wants to be back in his office regardless of earning potential. Because unlike Jim, Michael is not in it for the money.

In the last scene we have Michael and Erin dancing to generic keyboard music in his office and Jim at his original desk as a salesman. Dwight is harassing Jim for his embarrassingly brief stint as manager and in response Jim puts Dwight’s tie in his coffee mug. Smirks all around and a “MICHAEL!” from Dwight. It was like retro Office. Back in the good old days when Jim was more concerned with putting Dwight’s office supplies in the vending machine than acting all husbandy with Pam. My only hope is that this was a subtle promise from the writers that the humor is returning to this wonderful place for the rest of the season. Sure all television shows need to grow and change but that doesn’t mean forgoing the qualities that originally made your show a hit. The Office has taken some of their most beloved characters in questionable directions so it felt appropriate that in their Valentine’s Day episode they honored the office dynamic that we fans think of with great affection. Well done. Keep it up; don’t make me have to dump you and get together with Parks and Recreation at the “After the Final Rose” special. Because I will.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Tracy: Liz lemon, do you know where I can find a good church?
Liz: How good, like Judaism good or just like Unitarian?

Because I honestly think that this may be the best show we have ever done…I’m back! Oh thank god, we were so screwed!

Dear Tina,

As I mentioned yesterday, today’s post would be part II in my epic analysis of the NBC Thursday lineup. I began to fret that yesterday’s post was getting a bit lengthy for generation Y as we have the attention span of Mandy Moore. That and the fact that my computer battery was low and I wanted to go eat dinner. Nevertheless, I have returned and so we begin with Parks and Recreation.

I have been watching Parks and Recreation since it premiered mid-season last spring. Parks and Recreation co-creators Greg Daniels and Michael Shur are also executive producers on The Office which led to initial confusion as to whether or not this show was a spin-off. Set in Pawnee, Indiana in a city government office, the show is clearly not a spin-off, rather it appears that the show was created as a vehicle for Amy Poehler. I agreed with the show’s critics who said in the beginning that it focused too heavily on the style (mockumentary) that made The Office a hit with little concern for the characters themselves who generally lacked likability.

Amy Poehler’s character Leslie Knope was equally clueless to Steve Carrell’s Michael Scott, yet she seemed to take herself so seriously that her obliviousness felt more pathetic than goofy. With the characters around her, it was hard to know where the relationships would be developing as no one seemed to relate to one another. The show lacked chemistry and focused almost entirely on the quippy dialogue.

In it’s second season, Parks and Recreation has discovered it’s rhythm which I think lies in Leslie’s infectious passion for government. While most of the employees are unwilling to offer anything beyond the minimum to their work, Leslie is a big picture thinker. She sees her role as deputy director of the Parks and Recreation department as a stepping stone to eventually becoming President of the United States. This season rather than making fun of Leslie, the writers have allowed her passion to be infectious. It is the common thread that now ties this group together so for the viewer it seems feasible that their relationships don’t end when the office doors close. The lines between co-worker and friend are not blurred entirely, appropriate because it is still a workplace comedy, but unlike Michael Scott, Leslie is inherently kind. Rather than undercutting Leslie with foolish antics, the writing now emphasizes a competence that is comedic in its youthful enthusiasm and occasional lack of foresight.

Some critics complained that there was no “Jim and Pam” relationship that could offer the show some longevity. The show’s interpretation of the “will they or won’t they, they eventually will” cliche relationship  is more complicated than you might see on other shows. Meaning, one could conceive that the writers solved this problem with Rashida Jones and Paul Schneider who play Ann and Mark respectively. However, since the pilot episode we know that Leslie has been in love with Mark for many years. So are we rooting for Ann and Mark or Leslie and Mark? Ann breaks up with her boyfriend Andy during the course of the show and he is still fighting to get her back. Are we rooting for them? But oh wait now we see young love developing between Andy and the intern April. Rather than closing in on one relationship, that we know will eventually lead to marriage and babies (and once a television character has a baby it is a slippery slope to mundane plot lines), Parks and Recreation leaves the door wide open for season after season of new matches that we as the audience are not settled on opposing.

Briefly, I really should have dedicated more time to this, but Aziz Ansari, who plays Tom Haverford, is a delight to watch on screen. Tom’s personality and agenda are the antitheses of a Midwestern small town. Tom is quick to patronize his fellow Hoosiers but Aziz does so with brilliant pace that you feel like you are watching a choreographed song and dance. So fun. Below is my personal favorite moment from season 2 so far. Leslie is taking the heat for someone else who accidentally shot a co-worker during a weekend hunting trip. Her excuses run the gamut of female weaknesses.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/110482/parks-and-recreation-im-just-a-girl#s-p5-sr-i1

Now, as I mentioned at the end of my last post, I would like to explain why I accept The Office‘s decision to have a clip show after a six week hiatus. Sure I was thinking, did you guys interpret that six week vacation the way college students interpret their winter breaks? A time to spend lounging around in clothes freshly laundered by your mothers until around 9 pm when you leave the house to go drink Keystones in someone’s basement? Because at least one person should have made the sacrifice to write a new script and then wrangle the team together to film an all new episode. I mean, 30 business days. That’s longer than some rehab stints. So yes I am not going to lie it was a tad disappointing when the first clip of Michael crashing a lift in the warehouse was followed by another clip. And then another. This wasn’t my first time at the rodeo so I knew what was coming. More clips. Although it is a fan favorite, critically speaking, The Office has fallen out of the limelight with shows like 30 Rock that now receive resounding acclaim year after year. I myself had fallen slightly out of love with the show. Pam seems almost mean-spirited since getting everything she ever wanted. Jim is now a clueless co-manager. Even the writing doesn’t seem as strong as it once was. The Secret Santa episode this past December was entertaining but it doesn’t hold a candle to season two’s Christmas episode:

So Phyllis is basically saying “Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you an oven mitt’s-worth.”

For me, the clip show served as a tool to emphasize the show’s strengths. The producers took advantage of this episode to link The Office‘s finest writing and physical bits with the history of the characters. Remember how Ryan got the nickname fire guy? Remember when Michael kissed Oscar? I do now! It reinvigorated my excitement for the second half of the current season and sometimes after five and a half years we need that. The Jim and Pam montage brought me back to my junior year of college when I watched the second season on DVD and for a week couldn’t bring myself to watch the last disc because I didn’t want it to end. It reminded me of screaming in the room I’m sitting in right now when Jim returned from New York and asked Pam out to dinner. And as much joy as it has been to follow Jim and Pam, personally my favorite relationship on the show is the one Michael has with his office. I think the show’s most satisfying moments are when we experience Michael’s sentiment for his work and the people he works with. It is sometimes sad, often sweet, but it is always sincere. It is that dynamic that gives the writers the leeway to make Michael racist, sexist, and blithely unaware of social norms, because we get to see the side of him that is compassionate, dependable, and loyal. If one episode can recreate all of those memories and all of those laughs for their fans then I say let the production team have their six weeks. Just don’t do it again.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Tracy: Liz Lemon, I would like to recommend Kenneth the page for NBC medal of excellence.
Liz: Ok that doesn’t exist, but you can write a letter for his file!
Tracy: I’ve got a lot on my plate!