127 Hours: A Hangover Story

Dear Tina,

As we get older, we inevitably learn from our past mistakes. Glitter nail polish is almost impossible to remove so why bother, fat free cheese does not help you lose weight but it does give you horrific stomach cramps, and purchasing a garment with the notion that it will fit perfectly once you lose five pounds, practically guarantees that said garment will hang in your closet for eight months until you realize that day is never coming and you offer it to your more slender friend.

We are less inhibited as we get older–at least we should be. We don’t worry so much about what our dance moves look like when out with our girlfriends, because good or bad, they are guaranteed to attract the kind of man whose name we won’t and shouldn’t remember. We wear what flatters our figures and reflects our taste and not what exposes the most skin for the cheapest price. We even begin to troll for temporary and life partners in appropriate settings (meaning before 1 am and while our vision is still fully alert).

What a nice idea, mental growth increasing at the same rate as physical growth. What doctors and our parents always yearned for. I was on the right track myself. Sometimes, when feeling really encouraged by my 24 years on Earth, I would even make myself a salad for dinner. However, life took a turn for the worst Saturday, February 12. I attended a surprise birthday for a friend of mine and I was eager to get the party started as I was surrounded by many a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. I had a personal theory that “socializing” with only wine would be cause for future problems as it always leads to the worst hangovers and the most slurred “s” words. So brilliant me, decided to create a rotation: wine beer wine beer wine beer wine. Beer. And that was before we left the house. I don’t need to get into dirty details but lets say once I was released into the wild, vodka and tequila followed. I’m not proud of my choice. It lacked maturity and foresight, two things I pride myself on when I am in the state of mind that allows me to repeat my phone number without stopping to think about it. But it happened.

The next day, I went through the seven stages of Hangover.

1. Denial: I don’t feel bad! This is funny! And fun! Remember all those funny and fun things we did last night? (Symptoms: blood alcohol level is likely still at an over-the-limit percentage)

2. Pain and Guilt: Extreme nausea. The kind of nausea that when asked to sit in a Buffalo Wild Wings for an entire college basketball game (as I was), the only thing that can slightly relieve your pain is envisioning what a bed with a pillow must feel like right about now. Also, guilt. Guilting the others for feeling well enough to eat, even something as bland as tortilla chips.

3. Anger and bargaining: Anger toward the doofuses who appeared to not only be enjoying the game they were watching, but also the alcoholic beverages they were consuming. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Bargaining with my own body, a promise to my stomach that if it manages to keep all of its insides on the inside, I will reward it with a nap and a chicken nugget. Which sounded really good at the time.

4. Depression, reflection and loneliness: The depression came shortly after I went through a McDonalds drive-thru for some chick nuggs and fries, and realized that the consumption of only half a nugget was going to cause a mild erruption from my mouth. Epic fail. Reflection in my curiosity for what exactly took place the night before. I was told something about my dance moves. I can only imagine what they looked like based on what I normally keep tucked away in my arsenal. And loneliness. Because after I sobered up at Buffalo Wild Wings, I drove myself to my bf’s home accepting the fact that as soon as I arrived I would need him to remain at least ten feet away from me in order to have the mental capacity to maintain my basic bodily functions. As my father used to say when he came home from work on exceptionally hot summer days, “it’s too hot to touch.”

5. The Upward Turn: Well for me, in my normal experiences with bottle flu, this comes after a nice long nap. In this instance, it came on Thursday. So….if we want to look at this positively, yes I began to see the light. After having to spend Valentine’s Day alone, due to my illness, and get reaquainted with a lifestyle that requires 12-16 hours in bed or on the couch (that part wasn’t so hard), the upward turn came when I realized this hangover may have turned into another problem.

6. Reconstruction and working through: After being treated to a wonderful make-up Valentine’s Day at a local Mexican restaurant, and feeling the urge to vomit after one bite of a chicken taco, I thought it time to take my life back and conquer this thing for good. Medicine was taken. I can’t get into specifics. But after five days of channeling Linda Blair, I believe my body was released of its toxins.

7. Acceptance and Hope: Since the dreaded night of February 12, I have returned to good old sensible me, consuming enough “socializing” to validate a hot dog at 3 am, but not so much that I don’t floss before bed (true story).

So what is the lesson here? I don’t know. If you want to take a shot, try not to make it two, and try not to make it straight tequila followed by  straight vodka, preceded by vats and vats of that which is not liver-approved. I did venture out of the house this past Saturday night. We went to a bar filled with 21 year olds and “21 year olds.” I felt like their babysitter. It was cute to see them self-conciously lipsynching to Ke$ha and, even worse, Ludacris. But I certainly wasn’t nostalgic for my college days when I, as on this night, used a bathroom covered in broken glass, toliet paper, and a variety of unidentified liquids. Nor the days when I would not have learned my lesson from the weekend prior. I kept myself at a three drink minimum once at the bar: liver and wallet friendly!

In truth, going out and celebrating with alcohol can be a great time; it is, afterall, designed that way for us level-headed adults. But too much of a good thing is, well, a bad thing. After all, I’m not the type of person who needs to drink to come out of my shell. Moving forward, as I grow from my past mistake, the key will be to refrain from drinking so much that people wished they had a shell to contain my overly enthusiastic gesticulations. Best of luck on your future endeavors.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Liz: That would only be a problem if I had any flaws.
Jack: Not only is your fly open, but there’s a pencil sticking out of it.

I can’t tell who they’re from. No, no, I did read the card but it’s not signed…no, I’m not with so many men that it’s impossible for me to guess…oh, well you know what, I found the card, actually, they’re from your mom, so tell your gay mom I said thanks!

Dear Tina,

The Valentine’s Day extravaganza continues. My apologies for Friday’s post not appearing until this afternoon, but you know, life happens. Not to be confused with Love Happens starring Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart and hands down the worst name for a film since…ever. Now in this weekend dedication to Valentine’s Day I am faced with a dilemma. There are five half hour, scripted comedies I watch without fail every week. In the order they occur: Modern Family, Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock. I had to give Modern Family its own post because um, it earned it, and I had never properly professed my love for it. 30 Rock (Spoiler Alert!) will be getting the Sunday spot because it’s the best thing that ever happened to me so I’ll obviously need to honor it on Valentine’s Day. So what to pick for Saturday? Not all three because this is supposed to be the BEST of the Valentine’s themed sitcom and when you only watch five shows, well, you should at least be critical enough to limit yourself to three.

Here is my line of thinking. Community is out of the running first. An amazing showing but it fell short. In their attempt to create what we TV enthusiasts can now officially refer to as the “Jim-Pam” relationship without needing further explanation, they have chosen for half of this equation, a character who honestly is not all that likable. I am of course referring to Britta. I want to like her but I tend to think of television characters as potential friends: if a character wouldn’t appeal to me as a friend in real life, then I’m probably not going to care if you get what you’re after. This is not to say that in real life, if you’re a real person and you and I are not friends that I hope for the worst for you. As Laura Linney said to Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me and as my friend Amanda said to my friend Adam when they recreated the same scene in our on-camera class, “I do root for you.” I am strictly referring to television. I like where Community is going with the Jeff-Britta relationship. But I think that is because this development is making Jeff a more interesting character. Britta on the other hand is still as self-important as she always was. What we loved about Jim and Pam was that the two were clearly perfect for each other yet their timing was always off; I don’t see Britta as Jeff’s missing piece. Until the writers can figure out a way to make their chemistry more palpable and Britta’s personality more sympathetic, this show is not taking any Valentine’s Day victories.

So now we are left with Parks and Recreation and The Office. I’ve been having a hard time with The Office lately. Ever since Pam got pregnant and Jim became kind of jerk to everyone but her, it just hasn’t been the same. Parks and Recreation on the other hand has really come into its own and Amy Poehler is the perfect example of making a character likable who on paper is supposed to be irksome and foolish. After giving this a lot of thought, I have decided to give it to………………………….The Office. (I am now noticing that you can’t really do dramatic pauses in writing because it takes about a nanosecond for the eye to skip over a series of ellipses.) Yes, just as The Bachelor finale is always edited so the bachelor appears to be in love with the loser just to throw you off, Parks and Recreation fell slightly short in the race to steal my heart. An excellent showing though; if Leslie hadn’t been with such a chach during the episode, they may have edged out The Office.

The Office is in desperate need of a recharge or a reset or a resomething and tonight we saw a glimmer of hope that this may come during the final moment when the camera captured life in the office as it once was. As we remember it most fondly. But we’ll get back to that. For now I want to focus on what made it a great Valentine’s Day episode. The answer is Andy and Erin. I have been a fan of Ed Helms, who plays Andy, since he was a correspondent on The Daily Show so I was delighted when he showed up for the third season premiere. I was even more delighted when he continued to do so for the 4th, 5th, and 6th seasons. Andy Bernard is charming with an element of obliviousness much more subtle than Michael’s, but like Michael, he is most appealing when he is sincere. Erin, played by the wonderful Ellie Kemper, replaced Pam as the office secretary. Erin is refreshingly positive and upbeat in this office filled with complainers and cynics. Erin and Andy’s mutual crush has been developing all season long and after the drawn out mess that was Andy’s engagement to Angela, he finally has potential with someone who is a good match for him. The problem is both are waiting for the other to make the move. Having provided Erin with an extravagant display of affection via his Christmas gift to her, the 12 days of Christmas–literally bought her two french hens, etc., Andy feels it is Erin’s turn to make a move but she doesn’t oblige him. Because she’s a girl and we don’t do that. Andy, determined to keep things moving forward, decides the next logical step is to give her a Valentine’s Day card. Then give one to everyone else in the office to “dilute” the gesture. Ahh it reminds of my relationship with my 5th grade boyfriend who I would find ways to bump into in the halls and then avoid direct eye contact. That relationship kind of petered out on its own.

The delightfulness of Erin and Andy’s relationship can be properly summarized in the interaction that took place during the Valentine’s Day card delivery. Erin and Andy “bump” into each other in the office:

Andy: Woah traffic jam!
Erin:Uh oh traffic jam on route three!
[human produced siren noises]
Erin: 20 people dead in a pile up!
Andy: Blood everywhere!…..Um I got you a Valentine’s card.

It’s nice to have a budding relationship not complicated or muddled by one having a fiance or a boyfriend or girlfriend. Rather, we watch two people who simply struggle to put themselves out there and take a risk with the other. Gosh, what must that be like. It is refreshingly innocent and playful. Enough with all the complications that we force into our heads as adults; let’s go back to the basics–a crush and a flirtation. It is the simplicity of their situation that makes it such a joy to watch and a delight to root for.

Andy’s love for Erin is tested when, unbeknownst to him, the Valentine’s Day card he gave to Kelly (Mindy Kaling–love) is inscribed with a passionate message that leaves Kelly with the impression that he is in love with her. Kelly takes it in stride stating, “I guess Andy likes me. I never thought of him in that way. But, I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you’re supposed to be with is the one you never thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying or possibly homosexual.” Kelly breaking this news to Erin does not go well as Erin is clearly devestated but, not wanting to appear the victim, keeps mum about her crush.

After Kelly attempts a move on Andy, he realizes his mistake and sends out an office email sans Erin stating that regarding his Valentine’s Day cards, this does not mean he likes any of them. Which brought the sweetest moment of this Valentine’s Day episode when Phyllis asked “you don’t even like us as friends?” and Andy replies, “Phyllis, you guys are like my closest friends. I just mean I don’t like like you.” (Oscar: “What are we five?” perfect.) Pam wanted to give the camera a snarky look during this whole exchange, LIKE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THERE BEFORE MCSMRIKSALOT. Ugh Jim and Pam, they think they’re so much better than everyone now. Drives me crazy. So Andy and Erin basically return to square one. There is no longer confusion about one liking anyone else, yet no admittance than one likes the other. I’m so happy we have the rest of the season to figure this out. If Erin is pregnant or married by the middle of next season I’m calling for new hires in the writing room. Don’t do that to us.

Which brings me to that final moment I mentioned earlier. I didn’t discuss the A story because it was unrelated to Valentine’s Day and therefore moot. So I will be very brief in a recap. New boss (Kathy Bates) comes in and says the office doesn’t need two co-managers, Michael or Jim needs to step down and return to salesman. Jim agrees to do so because he can make bank on commission under the new policies. Michael discovers this, wants to be and is demoted to salesman, making Jim manager. This dynamic is maintained for four and a half hours before Michael realizes he wants to be back in his office regardless of earning potential. Because unlike Jim, Michael is not in it for the money.

In the last scene we have Michael and Erin dancing to generic keyboard music in his office and Jim at his original desk as a salesman. Dwight is harassing Jim for his embarrassingly brief stint as manager and in response Jim puts Dwight’s tie in his coffee mug. Smirks all around and a “MICHAEL!” from Dwight. It was like retro Office. Back in the good old days when Jim was more concerned with putting Dwight’s office supplies in the vending machine than acting all husbandy with Pam. My only hope is that this was a subtle promise from the writers that the humor is returning to this wonderful place for the rest of the season. Sure all television shows need to grow and change but that doesn’t mean forgoing the qualities that originally made your show a hit. The Office has taken some of their most beloved characters in questionable directions so it felt appropriate that in their Valentine’s Day episode they honored the office dynamic that we fans think of with great affection. Well done. Keep it up; don’t make me have to dump you and get together with Parks and Recreation at the “After the Final Rose” special. Because I will.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Tracy: Liz lemon, do you know where I can find a good church?
Liz: How good, like Judaism good or just like Unitarian?

When you’ve been married 17 years, you have to keep it spicy. That’s why me and my wife role play. She puts on a Girl Scout outfit with a box of cookies and I answer the door in my boxers. Or, I rent out a wheelchair and she pretends to be my case worker.

*This post is from Friday, the 12th. Sorry for the delay.

Dear Tina,

I just got home from a one woman show at the Court Theatre in Chicago. The play was based on the Joan Didion book The Year of Magical Thinking of the same title. Starring Chicago actress Mary Beth Fisher, the world of the play is told from Didion’s point of view as she describes a year of terrible tragedy with poignant analysis and candid emotion. For an hour and forty minutes, Fisher maintains the audience’s attention not through superfluous gesturing or emoting as one might expect with such heavy material, but by honoring the voice of the playwright that requires a balance of directness and vulnerability to accurately portray this woman’s experience with unimaginable loss. Tonight I was particularly struck by the audience’s applause. As a retired stage actress myself (does retired imply I ever did it professionally?), I have always thought that what makes live theatre the more intimate experience than screen acting is the instant feedback. What you just did there? An hour and forty minutes of uninterrupted story telling at its finest? You need to know how much we appreciated what you just did and you need to know it after every single time you do it. So we applaud you. Yes yes yes. Blah blah blah. This is supposed to be a blog about television but theatre is and will always be my first love. And when you see theatre as well done as The Year of Magical Thinking you need to mention it. I mean, do I need to remind you I was Dorothy in my school’s 4th grade play? And I acted the business out of it. So I know what I’m talking about.

Alright, as promised I am dedicating this weekend to Valentine’s Day episodes that I loved. Today’s choice, an easy pick, is Modern Family. I’ve mentioned Modern Family a few times so far with the promise that one day I would go into detail about why this show is the best new show on television you may not be watching. Here’s my opportunity. Because the Valentine’s Day episode was a great representation of the show’s theme of blending silly sitcom with authentic tenderness. Let me offer a brief run down of the family tree on this show. Jay Pritchett, played by Ed O’Neill, is the family patriarch. He is remarried to a young Colombian woman named Gloria who has a son, Manny, from a previous relationship. Jay has two children, Claire and Mitchell. Claire is married to Phil (Ty Burrell, genius) and they have three children, two girls and a boy. Mitchell is gay and is in a committed relationship with Cameron (Cam) and they have recently adopted a baby girl, Lily, from Vietnam. And they all live in the same town. There you have it. We move on.

Most episodes are set-up with each family dealing with an issue specific to their relationships or households that will eventually result in all three families coming together to solve these problems, or make them worse. Wednesday night was no different. Claire and Phil have spent Valentine’s Day at family style Italian restaurant Fritelli’s for the last seventeen years. In the spirit of wanting to mix things up, they decide to instead spend the evening at a hotel. While they’re spicing things up, why not add role playing into the mix? I know I have no objections, because this proposal led to Phil trying out a variety of “sexy” dialects: “[British]Perhaps I’ll be Reginald Applebee. An English gentleman in town for a polo match. [Chinese] Or honorable business man from Hong Kong. [German?] It’s not a big deal Claire. I just train tigers for a living.”

Over at Mitchell and Cam’s, Mitchell slips as he walks in the front door. Angrily, “Are these rose petals?!” Mitchell is upset and distracted because the closing argument he had been working on for months was not needed when the client settled out of court. Mitchell is clearly in the mood to lay low this evening but Cam had previously agreed to watch Manny for the night. Manny comes in equally distraught because “Ted” from school stole his Valentine poem and used it to successfully ask out the girl Manny had written it for. Cam has a soft spot for meddling so this dilemma leads to all four (including baby Lily) to the restaurant “Great Shakes” where the culprit has taken Manny’s love, Fiona.

Meanwhile, the reason Jay and Gloria had to drop Manny off  was so they could attend a performance by stand-up comedian David Brenner. This was of course Jay’s gift and one that initially disappointed Gloria who wanted to go salsa dancing. “He was on Johnny Carson a hundred times! Who is Johnny Carson?!” If nothing else, watch the episode to hear Sofia Vergara pronounce the word ‘comedian’. Makes me wish I was a Colombian native.

In this particular episode, Cam and Mitchell’s plot never crosses the other’s, but Claire and Phil happen to be role playing at the same hotel where Jay (remember, her father) and Gloria are watching the stand up act. Can you guess what happens next? You cannot. If this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience, I’m sure they would have an ending as predictable as Rachel getting off the plane for Ross, but it wasn’t so it doesn’t.

At the hotel bar, Claire is now Juliana, and Phil, because he can’t help himself, is Clive Bixby. Here are some highlights from Phil’s attempt at role playing:

I design high-end electro acoustic transducers. Its a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.

So what’s your story? Miss America pageant in town?

Claire: You’re a pretty smooth talker.
Phil: I’m pretty smooth all over.

Claire: Tell me about your wife.
Phil: Well she’s beautiful of course.
Claire: Well if she’s so very beautiful why are you here with me?
Phil: Well she’s always so tired and she’s always making lists of things for me to do.

Phil finally manages to say something that excites both Claire and Juliana, “I respect [my wife] too much to do the things to her that I’m going to do to you?” and Claire excuses herself to change out of her clothes and into her trench coat. By the way, the question mark there was not a typo. Watch the episode.

Back at Great Shakes, Cam comes up with a plan to get Manny some alone time with Fiona that involves a cell phone, a fake contest, and a southern dialect. This episode: heavy on dialects, heavy on fun. The plan is foiled after poem-stealer Ted loses interest in listing every shake option on the menu in order of favorite to least favorite over the phone to one “Don Jolly” at the Great Shakes Corporate offices. Upon the Manny-Ted confrontation ending in a “get lost” and a shove from Ted, Mitchell appears as Manny’s lawyer and we finally get to hear the closing argument we have been hearing about all episode. Of course applied not to a court case but to a case of middle school crime. The closing argument may not be as applicable a Mitchell is pretending, as Manny begs, “Can you please stop calling me the little guy? I’m in the 40th percentile!” Shh I got this! Cameron and Mitchell have great chemistry on the show. One’s love for drama and costume balances the other’s self-conscious neuroses. And while sometimes I just want to kick Mitchell for constantly knocking Cameron down for his flamboyant, over-the-top nature, the two express appreciation for one another in their own way. In a way that says to the outside observer “we don’t expect you to get it, but we’re happy.” Gay or straight, that is the type of intimacy everyone should be looking for.

At the David Brenner show, Jay becomes the center of the comedian’s lashings for the clear age discrepancy between Gloria and himself. I like to think the writers were mocking stand-up comedy in its worst form here when the easiest, most predictable jokes are cracked for the benefit of the simpletons in the audience and the lack of creativity in the comedian. Unfortunately Jay can’t take the ridicule, no matter how lame or tame it was and excuses himself from the room. Gloria meets him in the lobby and assures him that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks and reminds him that she is not so shallow that she would abandon him in his old age. Because she loves him and he wouldn’t do that to her if she were to say, gain 100 pounds, right? “I have to get old! You don’t have to get fat.”

As Claire and Phil head up to their hotel room, the belt to Claire’s trench coat gets stuck in the escalator. This being a sitcom, everyone from the school principal to Phil’s co worker happen to be at the hotel and passing the escalator when this happens. Just when it can’t get worse it does and Jay and Gloria walk by. “Well why don’t you just take the coat off! What are you naked?” Why yes dad, she is as naked as the day she was born. You were there, remember? If you have watched the show from the beginning you know that Claire doesn’t really care for Gloria and understandably questions her motives for marrying her wealthy father. Watching Gloria come to Claire’s rescue and help her into her own coat discreetly and without judgement, was the sweet cap to the escalator schtick that makes Modern Family such a smart, thoughtful show. It has a beautiful way of complementing the ridiculousness with the sentimental.

I know that a show like 30 Rock is not for everyone and a lot of the humor doesn’t hit people in a laugh out loud kind of way, but I do think that Modern Family has a style and a wit that anyone could enjoy. It is a major upgrade for Ed O’Neill who is proving himself much more intelligent than was ever required of him over on Married With Children. The entire cast, even the children, are fun to watch and that is so rare in television today. Do yourself a favor and watch this on Valentine’s Day. It will be so much more enjoyable than watching Jessica Biel stuff her face with chocolates, crying, and making predictable vibrating phone jokes. See: Valentine’s Day preview, if you must.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

Jack: You know what family means to me Lemon? Resentment. Guilt. Anger. Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.

What about me? I just took a bunch of Cialis cause I have big Valentines plans tonight.

Dear Tina,

I worked for 13 hours today so starting this at quarter to 11 wasn’t exactly a well thought out plan. My day began slightly off-kilter when I got out of bed at 6:34. Approximately six minutes before I need to leave my house. And got progressively worse when I left my room, or should I say attempted, and my shoelace got caught in my dresser drawer. How does that happen? Those two things shouldn’t be at matching heights. That’s like getting your hair caught on a door knob. So for all of these reasons and more, I was unable to pack a baggie of cereal for breakfast as I normally do. And I thought, fine, because they have something like Cheerios at their house. Boy did they. They had the “organic” version of Cheerios. I put organic in quotes to imply that it tasted like a foot. This is what I hate about health trends. Don’t try and tell me you are making a more health conscious choice by eating organic puff circles than I am because I eat Cheerios. I know I have already gone on a rant about this. Something you should know about me, I rant things to death (Just ask my friends how I feel about 45 calorie bread). I don’t care what that man tells Oprah, buying organic carbs is ridiculous. Someone should make a message tee about it. I’ll wear it when I go out in 2003.

In response to this week being the week of the sitcom’s “let’s remind the audience how much they want any two characters on our show to get together” Valentine’s Day episode, I have decided I am going to dedicate all weekend entries to different Valentine’s Day episodes that I loved. Love in the way an eighth grader says he loves his girlfriend during a Valentine’s Day dinner at California Pizza Kitchen right before he hands her a gift of bath salts in a dolphin shaped bottle–which is probably one of the most sincerest forms of love in young adulthood. Eligible episodes will only be episodes featured within the last week or so, not from many seasons past. Although the 30 Rock Valentine’s Day episode when Jack picks up a foreign prostitute played by Rachel Dratch was the creme de la creme. Tonight’s 30 Rock will of course be included as any television show that features a character misinterpreting a house plant for Jon Bon Jovi deserves acclaim. For the record and the reminder, had they been given the opportunity, Glee would have killed a Valentine’s Day episode. Why is that show not on right now? Fox. The worst.

Two final notes about Valentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day:

1. When you hear the intro for Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” do you panic and think you are being subjected to another preview for the movie Valentine’s Day? I do. Any film that can find a place for George Lopez, Jessica Biel, and Taylor Lautner makes me anxious. In the bad way.
2. If you go see Valentine’s Day on Valentine’s Day, I will judge you forever. That goes for anybody. Ticket sales for Sunday, February 14 should total zero dollars. Have some self-respect.

More to come tomorrow but thank you Tina, a million times thank you, for bringing back Floyd tonight. Albeit brief, delightful nonetheless.

30 Rock Quote of the Day:

CC: Whiskey straight up.
Jack: I’ll have a white rum with a diet ginger ale and splash of lime.
CC: Wow, I never would have pegged you for a University of Tennessee sorority girl.