Dear Tina,
This was said to me at work today as I was writing this post:
In Disney World there was a sign that said “I Love You Greg.” Wait. Actually, it said “I Love You God.”
So many questions there. Why was that poster in Disney World? When did you learn to read, young friend? The answers are, per usual, irrelevant.
Onto the subject of today’s post. Last night American Idol featured the Top 9: Redux. You may recall last week the judges used their save on Michael Lynche so no one was eliminated, leaving the same nine contestants to compete again this week. In general the performances were as mediocre as they were the week before. There is no indication that anyone competing on this show will eventually try to challenge themselves, therefore I might suggest that the producers start airing reruns. Most of us at home won’t even notice. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule and so we take a deeper look at who that might have been and who it was definitely not. The theme of the night was Elvis Presley (blech) and Adam Lambert scampered in to mentor the impressionable minds of the top eight nine.
Crystal Bowersox, Saved. One thing I learned after last night’s episode is that Crystal should never go first. I know there is a level of fairness we need to be concerned with here and you cannot give a contestant the advantage of the finale performance every single week, but putting Crystal first is like Janis Joplin opening for Demi Lovato. That being said, the thing with Crystal is that she’s always good but good at the same thing. While we at home appreciate consistency, she is running the risk of becoming forgettable as all of her performances over the course of the show are starting to blend into one long acoustic guitar version of a chart hit. The judges like her because of this consistency and commend her for ability to interpret different genres in her own style. But the less specific their critiques become, because after awhile what else is there to say, the more forgettable Crystal becomes as contestants like Lee Dewyze continue to make significant improvements.
Andrew Garcia, Hound Dog. I wish I could just have the memory of Andrew as he was during Hollywood week. I want to like him as much as I did then, yet I can’t help but resent him for his horrendously boring performance last night. Not to mention the half a dozen other performances that fall under that same category. During the mentoring session, Adam Lambert suggested that Andrew put some energy in the performance–the poor guy was practically falling asleep right there on Cirque du Soleil’s stage! A good tip for Andrew but, if it was even possible, when it came time for the performance his rendition of “Hound Dog” was even more boring than it was in rehearsal. I may get in trouble for saying this because I have a friend who is a passionate supporter of Andrew’s but last night he truly stood out as the worst. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but even worse than Tim. We’ve lost hope Andrew and now it’s time to go.
Tim Urban, Can’t Help Falling In Love. Although it may seem that I gave Tim a compliment a moment ago, rest assured he was the second worst performance last night. One could argue that he was better than a handful of contestants but Tim remains the second worst by default for being the only contestant who never should have made it to the top 12 to begin with. The judges, on the other hand, were offering him praise hand over fist. This always happens. As soon as the obnoxious kid who is as karaoke as they come slows things down and puts an acoustic guitar on his lap, the judges act like he re-imagined the Gospel. It was fine and as Randy said last week, “it was good for a Tim performance.” I will only buy the idea that Tim is improving when he has the know-how to cut his hair, which looks like a youthful interpreation of the atrocity atop Rod Blagojevich’s head.
Lee Dewyze, A Little Less Conversation. Lee was one of two singers last night who made me forget how much I dislike Elvis music. If you’ll allow me to make up an adjective, his song choice was one of the most Elvis-y of all the performances last night. Hearing it conjures up not only images of the King himself, but of every single Elvis impersonation I have ever seen on television (and I watched Full House so I’ve seen a lot). Lee turned the Elvis classic into a true rock song, changing the musicality of the piece to elicit less hip shaking, more rhythmic clapping. I feel like I am running the risk of sounding like Kara here, but he found his voice in this song and made the performance about his talent instead of Elvis’s.
Aaron Kelly, Blue Sued Shoes. Do I even have to go here? His jacket was five times too large and it made him look five times too small. Which left him somewhere in the range of teeny-tiny and itty bitty. The song was a lackluster choice for Aaron to begin with and continued downhill from the moment he started walking down those stairs. I liked watching the footage of the mentoring session when Aaron almost accidentally added a cub-like growl to one of the lyrics. Adam, who loves a nice growl, kept pushing him to do it more but as soon as Aaron was put to task, he failed to recreate that natural prowess he had stumbled upon and eventually folded under the pressure. To be fair, Aaron admitted that he didn’t know why he chose this song as he can’t relate to it all. Thank you for your candor, but sometimes honesty is not the best policy and cluing us into your obliviousness will not bode well for you in the future.
Siobhan Magnus, Suspicious Minds. Siobhan came back this week and brought along her friend, the scream. Yes, Siobhan has gone back to garnering votes via her upper register and while most of the judges welcomed the return, Simon was afraid to say that it wasn’t as good as it had been in weeks past. He advised her, in his delightfully British way, that she may need to look at other options to serve as her golden goose because those screeching high notes are not producing the results she needs to stay in the competition. He complained that her song choice did not reflect who she is as an artist and suggested she spend time defining that a bit more. Siobhan, looking like she was ready to create a Simon-inspired voodoo doll, argued that she has never viewed herself as just one kind of artist–she’s a lot of things and will continue to perform accordingly. Ok Siobhan, then when your album is shipped to music stores across the country, we’ll just tell the stockers to put your album in the “Not Just One Kind of Singer” category.
Michael Lynche, In The Ghetto. Well Michael definitely had a lot to prove last night. After being eliminated last week and subsequently saved, it was his responsibility to make sure he didn’t prompt a unanimous response of “what were we thinking?” Give yourself a pat on the back Michael, because not only did you prove yourself good enough to be worth saving, but you delivered the best performance of the night. I don’t like to use the word soulful because I think American Idol uses it ad nauseum when it comes to their black contestants and Taylor Hicks, but in this instance Michael embodied the very essence of soul music. It was emotional, melodic, and it seemed to be personal for the singer himself. I would have been fine to see Michael go last week. Tonight I genuinely hope Michael is safe; the results should reflect the talent and Michael’s is exceptional.
Katie Stevens, Baby What You Want Me to Do. Not nearly as significant as the progress she made last week with “Let it Be,” Katie’s performance last night was…fine. There was a lot going on that’s for sure. Katie was all over the stage, at one point jamming–as much as a teenager thinks she can jam–with a horn section. This paved the way for a classic Ellen pun, “It was a very horny song.” Uh, yes, but we’re running short on time so if you could get to the critique of her musical abilities, that would be great. Simon said something critical and insightful. It was hard to understand what exactly it was because Kara kept talking over him as if she hadn’t had enough time to express her opinion a moment ago, and eventually Simon gave in and said “They [the other judges] liked it so it doesn’t really matter what I think.” Part of me hopes that Katie does go home just to emphasize my point that it only matters what Simon thinks but she won’t and she doesn’t really deserve to either.
Casey James, Lawdy, Miss Clawdy. The ponytail was back and I was in heaven. Seriously, the man wears a ponytail better than most women I know. I lost a bit of focus towards the end because Glee was coming up and I was becoming flushed over the anticipation. My memory tells me that it wasn’t his best. He certainly didn’t stand out among the night’s best performances. In fact, as someone who I admire for knowing the genre of music that best fits his voice and style, Casey’s Blues interpretation of this track was bordering on dull. Don’t worry though. As long as Casey’s eyes sparkle at some point while he is on stage (and they always do) then he’ll be safe until we get down to the top four or five and the competition gets really stiff. Kara is right to tell Casey she needs to see him push himself more. Even if this doesn’t feel like a competition, thanks in large part to people like Tim Urban, it most definitely is and it appears Casey has yet to explore anything outside his comfort zone. A hint for Casey, Kara would put a check on that to-do list if you just went into falsetto at the end of a song. That’s all she ever needs.
So as I said, tonight we lose two contestants. That will make for some good TV. Hmm, maybe not. It’s hard to consider something good TV when it takes up an entire hour of primetime to make an announcement that only takes about three minutes. And that’s being generous.
30 Rock Quote of the Day:
Liz: I’m meeting a book agent about writing a “Deal Breaker” book. He’s going to take me to lunch where ever I want to go. Do you know if there’s a sit down Quizno’s in Midtown?
Dear Tina 